Above is the quote on a towel that I bought at the IRONMAN USA gear tent 2 days before the race. The Quote is great and the towel is Yellow and Black and that screamed "LiveSTRONG" to me so into the pile of stuff for purchase it went. At the time that I bought it; I thought I understood what this quote meant.
I really didn't understand at all...
That moment when "Fear and Dreams Collide" is NOW.
14 days until I toe the line once again in my quest for the 140.6 miles that equals an "Ironman" distance triathlon.
This is my second go-around this year and the questions are flying through my head every day...
- Did I do enough?
- Have I got my nutrition plan down?
- Have I kept my fitness up without wearing my body down even more by doing another 16 week of Ironman training?
- Will I be successful this time around?
- Will I be able to turn off the voices or "change the channel" in my mind when the time comes?
- Am I ready for the transition from Bike to Run?
- What am I going to do when my mind screams "STOP, NO MORE, IT'S JUST A RACE...."
I have been spending my quiet time at night before I got to bed, methodically answering these questions. The "physical" questions have been easy to answer. My training has shown me ride after long ride that I have the pace and the strength to handle this course. My race experience at ChesepeakeMan AquaVelo showed me that I can handle a very rough swim, get out of the water and keep myself on track with nutrition and pace - on a windy day - and come in to t2 with time to spare. Brick workouts show that I can run well off the bike - maybe not fast but steady and still running (or jogging if you prefer based on my 12 minute mile pace).
But what am I going to do when my mind screams "STOP, NO MORE, IT'S JUST A RACE..."
When my sub-consciousness is screaming to be heard, begging me to quit, reasoning with me to be sensible it will have to be ME who steps up and takes over to shut down the inner voices, to take the focus off the pain, to keep my pace strong and steady.
When that moment comes; this time when my FEARS and DREAMS collide...THIS TIME, I will embrace the FEAR (failure, too fat, too slow, not good enough) and push aside the DREAMS and FOCUS ON GETTING TO THE NEXT MILE because I have done the hard work, I am strong enough and I have what it takes...
I have what it takes to finish this distance.
Come what may...
Life is Good. LiveSTRONG!