Monday, May 15, 2006

Weight-Loss Hotline...

I am on the WEIGHT LOSS HOTLINE!! DEAR BODY, PLEASE PICK UP!

One of the hardest things about this entire year has been watching my weight fluctuate wildly and not feeling like "anybody" (Doctors of course) has been listening to me as I agonized over how much weight I have been gaining.

How much weight? As of this morning it is approximately 40 pounds...That is ALOT of weight to gain in one year.

When I was diagnosed, one of my questions to Dr. Butler (my oncologist) was "Will this treatment cause me to gain weight?" And his response was "If you do anything but lose weight, I will be shocked..."

Oh Doctor, my Doctor ... you don't know my body like I do ....

This was me in Summer 1998 ... 290+

And this was me at 185 in May 2001 at my first triathlon ever (Columbia Triahtlon)
I was always the "fun, chubby girl that everybody like and nobody dated" in high school and for a long time, I thought that was all I would ever be. Some "life experience" and a little soul searching cause me to realize that I didn't have to be that person and I made some changes to my eating and began to exercise. I fought long and hard to lose those 110 pounds and I can tell you that it has been no picnic keeping the weight off. I have bounced back and forth with the pounds between 180 - 210 for another 4 years. In fact I was in the midst of another round of "dropping weight" in May 2005 when I was diagnosed.
May 2005 - Sprint Tri

So this current "weight" is not unfamiliar terretory to me. But I feel it in everything I do .. and I am ready to scream:

ENOUGH!

Now before you post any comments, please do not pull out the "Cancer Card" on my behalf because I have heard it and/or said it myself all year.

• Your body thinks it is sick, your metabolism is slow ...
• You can't excercise like you used to, of course you will gain wait
• You don't "look" 40 pounds heavier ... **
(** blatent lies, while sweet, are NOT productive)
• Your on anti-depressents, they cause weight gain

I'm tired of the excuses and I am eliminating them one by one. I have been off the anti-depressents for 2 weeks now. I will be done with the Interferon in 2 weeks and in a month, my energy levels should be through the roof. I know that their are variable that I still can't control at this point but I am doing what I can to set myself up for some success so I have been working up a plan based on "Food for Fitness" by Chris Carmichael of Carmichael Training Systems. If it is good enough for Lance .. then it is good enough for me.



Live STONG and accept NO EXCUSES!

8 comments:

Cliff said...

Holly..u can do it...u did it before u can do it again :)..

If u beat cancer..u can do this...keep it up.

XF-15DCC said...

Well then do it! I know you will.
I have your back if you need that extra boost via your blog (or phone)

as always...
C.F.T.B.S

Kevin

kerihadley said...

i love how you always face your challenges head on. don't underestimate that strong will of yours, we don't.

surferchickHG said...

I will not pull out the "cancer card" because i know how you feel. I know we already talked about this, but right now i feel like a whale....i am bigger than i have ever been in my life...and the second i complain about it, everyone whips out the "pregnancy card" saying "aww you are supposed to get fat, you're eating for two!" I KNOW ALREADY!! but it doesn't mean i still don't feel like butt! It sucks working so hard for something and then feeling helpless, like there is nothing you can do about it. But you are almost done with the chemo...soooo close! and i KNOW that it won't take you long at all to get back on track and lose that weight. I believe in you 110%! I can't wait to see you this weekend sister! i love you!
HEATHER

Flo said...

Having been there myself without cancer as an excuse, I would NEVER use the cancer card. It's hard to lose weight all by itself, through a regular life in the mix and it gets even harder.

I've read that book and it provides some good information and a really good way to look at food; especially when you're training.

Good luck with the weight loss. I'll be battling also to lose that final 25-30 lbs....

*jeanne* said...

I believe that YOU can do anything.
You are STRONG and AMAZING!
You are the girl that everybody likes, the girl (the WOMAN) that can define her goals, and then strive and MEET them.
I believe it with all my heart, and I hope you believe it of yourself, too.
:-)

TriFeist said...

Well that sounds like a determined plan. Burn that cancer card! You can make it happen.

KLN said...

You go! Losing weight is such a challenge, and its even harder when you've always been heavy (I'm also the fat girl from my high school days, and weighed more than you). You CAN do it, you've got a plan, you've got the experience, you've got the motivation.