*$#^%@#%$@#

EVERY WORD IN THE BOOK!!!!

Can't I have ONE Dr's appointment that doesn't involve some kind of drama?????

Went in for my yearly GYN appointment 3 weeks ago and had the typical yearly exam. Physical, PAP smear ... run of the mill. I went back to discuss some things with my GYN yesterday and she said, "No PAP results yet but everything else looked good."

TODAY I get a phone call that the PAP came back abnormal and can I come in for a BIOPSY next week?

I must have scared everybody I passed on the street today on the way home. I know I would be scared if I passed a woman who was talking out-loud to herself and saying things like "Leave me the F*CK ALONE!! YOU DO NOT GET TO STAY, THIS IS MY BODY!"

Odds are high that the abnormal PAP is nothing to worry about but as you can imagine my anxiety level is a little higher than usual and frankly, I am simply sick of having pieces of my body (skin, blood, now internal parts) taken every week.

I'm off to Spin Class to work out some anxiety. Living STRONG DAMNIT!

Gear Revisited

I am so excited about the gear that I got in the mail just before I left for the holidays that I simply had to follow up and share.

First up is a new bathing suit. I needed to find a new one because the straps of my speedo fall right on top of my port and rub. *Very Distracting*

I will be the *MOST* stylish woman in the back of the pack with my new Zoot triathlon skirt and rash guard! Not only that.. I will be protected from the sun "not so friendly" rays.

Last Item: Tanita Ironman Scale - To help me keep track of the 20 extra pounds that I have found in the last 6 months of chemo, that I now plan to *lose*. 6 months on, 6 months off *I hope!!* That simply 1 pound a week, a very manageable goal.

Happy Holidays!

My living room floor is covered in laundry!! It was a wonderful Christmas in VT with Jim and my family. Lot's of fun stories to share over the next few days.

Just wanted to take a moment and wish each of you a WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON!

Live STRONG!

JINGLE all the way....

I got *NEW* GEAR in the mail last night!! YEAH! I love presents to myself. I'll list my gear later today but for now, here are soem pictures from 10 of this past weeks 16 miles of running!

JINGLE ALL THE WAY, BABY! Holly at the Jingle Bell 10K on Dec 11th

Holly and Nancy running in DC at the Christmas Tree Run - Dec 16th ... picture by *Jeanne*

More later ....

Days Like This...

I'm sure even Lance has days like this...you get out on the road, ready for your workout and you quickly discover you have nothing to give. You may be ready mentally but physically, you can't generate the power you need.

What do you do on days like this?

Today I made the choice to cover the distance, no matter how long it took me. Today I had to accept that the pace was going to be S-L-O-W but I still covered my 6 miles. While I was able to manage intervals, they were not any where near what I would consider close to a "run" pace so I am considering the workout a "power walk" for the sake of recording mileage.

It was a beautiful, sunny, cool One hour and thirty minute walk with some run intervals. Some days you take what your body can give and are thankful.

Thankful and Living STRONG!

S-L-E-E-P-Y

I simply want to SLEEP for at least 12 hours. I guess I did a little too much this week .....

I didn't get in bed last night until well after 11:30PM. These co-workers had better eat every last Magic Cookie Bar !! How is that for some *Holiday Spirit*? Just 5 minutes until the University Holiday Party begins (and the WEEKEND too!)

*YAWN* I'm off to socialize!

Hope everybody has a GREAT DAY! I will check in later this weekend.

*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*

Tagged Twice!

Well I am sitting here waiting for the "Magic Cookie Bars" to come out of the oven for tomorrows Holiday Party at work so I figured I would answer two "tags" that I got in the last 48 hours.

TAG 1: from Jeanne is "Write 5 random facts about yourself"

Fact 1: My feet are the perfect length - 12 inches, which as we all know is a measure foot. Of course others would simply say my feet are big, especially for a woman. When I was only 8, I already wore a woman's size 10 shoe. Shoe shopping was always traumatic. It is probably why I don't have a lot of shoes.

Fact 2: My family lives in VT and I *STILL* can't ski ... (hmmm.. feet too long?)

Fact 3: I am most definitely a "CAT" person if made to choose. Dogs are sweet and fun and cool but I'd rather have a cat, any day...

Fact 4: I have only been "athletic" for about 7 years now, Better Late than Never!

Fact 5: Tiger Crickets that hide in our guest bathroom on cold night really freak me out and *ALWAY* require removal by Jim

Now onto Tag #2: from KLN is as follows:

1. Your favorite holiday memory.

Being 15 and getting to stay up after my little sisters went to bed and play "Santa" for the first time along with my parents. Christmas turned into a whole new experience in that moment!

2. Your favorite holiday cookie or treat.

My Grandma Winters " Chocolate Peanutbutter Balls" (NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!!)

3. Where you will be over the holidays.

Sharon, Vermont for 7 days !! I CAN'T WAIT!

4. Your favorite holiday song or carol.

To SING: Silver Bells
To LISTEN TO: Anything by Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole or Karen Carpenter

5. A special holiday tradition in your family.

I guess over the years this has become a tradition since we keep doing it. Every year that we are together, my Sisters and I make it a point to go sledding down the front yard (my parents live on a mountain, very STEEP yard) for a few hours. And if you bring a significant other, they are coming along for the ride, at least once!!

We are never outside until well after 9PM or later and we always end up soaking wet, cold and aching from laughing and avoiding trees with our bodies. Mom and Dad always come out and watch but I don't think we have ever gotten them on a sled. This year will be Jim's first time doing the "G-Family Christmas" and you can bet he will be out in the snow with us!!
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All these TAGS have me READY for Christmas! But for now, I need to pull the cookies out of the oven and get to bed!

Sweet Dreams!

Christmas Lights Run

Too much eggnog? LOL .. this picture of me *CRACKS* me up! It is part of a dud shot BEFORE the actual run. Looks like it should be me at the bar *after* doesn't it?

Last night after my oncology appointment, I met with Nancy, *Jeanne* and Jeanne and we ran the 4th Annual Christmas Light Run with around 100 other local runners.

As we were waiting to start, a total stranger (who both Nancy and I noticed smelled like she had been dipping in the Eggnogg herself) came up and gave me this tremendous hug and said "Take a Christmas picture with me!" Who am I do deny somebody a Christmas wish? So I kindly obliged. Merry Christmas Strange Woman!!

It was so much fun and I honestly think that I ran a PR in the first 2 miles to the National Christmas Tree just trying to catch up to the main pack. Of course everybody else was out for a leisurely run. I was hanging off the back and Nancy was kind enough to hang with me when I needed to take a few walk breaks. By mile 2, we were generally in the bunch with other runner's around the whole time so we got to sing and greet people on the street. It was a wonderful way to spend a chilly night!

Jeanne, Jeanne's friend, *Jeanne*, Nancy, & Holly

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FROM NANCY'S BLOG: We gathered at Union Station to get our packets of carol lyrics, then headed outside for final instructions and a rousing rendition of "Jingle Bells". We ran past the Capitol, all lit up as beautiful as it is every night. Then down the National Mall and past the major Smithsonian museums over to the Ellipse by the White House, where we had some more carols by the National Christmas Tree. Then back over toward the starting point, stopping for a moving tribute to fallen police officers at the Blue Christmas Tree across the street from the National Law Officers Memorial.
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Following the run we stopped in at Kelly's Irish Times Pub. Jim met us there and I treated him to a Guinness, Nancy to an Irish Coffee and myself to a Black&Tan. MMMMM... CARBS! I tried to treat *Jeanne* but she was happy with her bottle of water.

It was a wonderful run with some AWESOME Ladies!!

My Personal 13.1....

Today is the official halfway point in my 48 weeks of Interferon Chemotherapy. 24 weeks and I am done!

•In "IRONMAN" terms I would be at Mile 56 of the Bike leg.
•In "Marathon" terms I would be at Mile 13.1.
•In "Cancer" terms, I have 7 months NED (No Evidence of Disease) since my second surgery in May 2005.

In terms of my Cancer adventures this year, I have had 2 surgeries, 18 days of high dose Interferon Chemo and I have given myself 72 Sub-Q Interferon shots and I have only 72 left!

Here is hoping that the last 72 go smoothly!

Living STRONG!

One Word

Linae tagged me to describe my goals for the 2006 Season in one word.

My one word: Balance

2006 goals:

• Finish Chemo
• Cherry Blossom 10 Miler at MINIMUM 5/1 intervals; sub 2:10
• Century Day at Bike VA - June 2006
• Half Ironman (Fall 2006) - 7:00 finish

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I think thee best advantage I have this year in terms of fitness goals is finding "BALANCE". Not every day is a good one but with only 24 weeks left of my chemo, I have a pretty good idea of how I feel day to day and how to counter balance my fatigue levels, working full time and doing my "tri" thing.

B-A-L-A-N-C-E is key!

One More Time, with Feeling

The first time I ran the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler in April 2004, we had snow, rain and blue skies ... all in the same 2 hour period. I vowed on that day that I would NEVER race the first weekend of April ever again....

I rescind my "VOW" .. I wanted a race to look forward to for the spring. I also know that Keri AND Nancy will be there on race day too! I got to race with my PEEPS!

After all, TRI-BABEs cannot live by Half Ironmans alone...

Living STRONG and waiting on new "GEAR" to arrive .. I think the Mail Carrier is hording my gear!

Look for a new "blog-segment" tonight ....

Jingle All the Way 10K

Holly, Keri (Bday Girl) & Amy - Sunday Dec 11, 2005

Sunday was the first annual Jingle All the Way 10K at West Potomac Park in D.C. There were 3 goals to the race:

1) Help my friend Keri celebrate her Birthday and start a new "Birthday Tradition"
2) Have Fun!!
3) Get my big butt moving again post-Marathon

I had no grand expectations for times in this race. I have not done much in the way of consistent training since the Marine Corps Marathon in late October. I had only managed to run 6 miles in the last 4 weeks and was entirely relying on muscle memory and run/walk intervals to get me through the miles

I was *hoping* for a finish time around 1:25 - That would be no slower than my earlier marathon pace and not too shabby for a "Interferon Athlete"...

So I met Keri and Amy at the start line. We strapped on our Jingle Bells, took a few pictures with Keri's new Champion Chip (a cool gift from her husband) and we were off! We started out in the back of the pack around the 12:00 pace sign. The sound of *jingle bells* all around us.

The three of us ran together for about 3 minutes and then fell into our own paces. Amy is expecting, so she settled into a Power Walk, I started my run/walk intervals and off went Keri - running away to try to set a PR at this race distance.

Although my miles slowed as I knocked them out, the weather was cool, crisp and perfect as we ran along the Potomac River waterfront. We hardly had wind in either direction (an anomaly on Haines Point for sure) and while I slowed down an average of around 8-10 seconds per mile, I was more than happy with the results.

Mile 1 - 12.26
Mile 2 - 12.38
Mile 3 - 12:41
Mile 4 - 13.02
Mile 5 - 13:30
Mile 6 - 13.03

Overall - 1:20:13

My average pace was just a little over 13:00 minute miles. Not too bad for somebody who simply showed up and tried to pull a 10K out of her very cute winter hat! I'm happy with the result.

Oh and a BIG SHOUT OUT to Keri who not only RAN the entire 10K (her first time doing that) BUT broke 11:00 minute miles and set herself a new Personal Record!!!!! Way to go Keri!! I fully expect 10:00 minute miles from you by the time you run this race next year for your birthday!

Wednesday night I am doing the 4th Annual Christmas Lights Run with Nancy and *Jeanne* and I suspect it will be as much FUN as it looks!

Living STRONG with good friends all around!

Flakey Days

SNOW! or rather SLUSH is what we got last night. It should make for some extra FUN this Sunday when I run the Jingle All the Way 10K in DC with my friend Keri!

Last night I did a long night at the gym. Since we had an *IMPENDING STORM*, my office let us out an hour early. (Folks down here really jump the gun with any call of snow) So I wandered s-l-o-w-l-y to the gym and hit every possible shop in Crystal City along the way. I still ended up there with 45 minutes until the scheduled SPIN class. So I jumped on the Elliptical Machine for an easy 30 minutes, did some stretching and then took the 45 minute SPIN class.

We had a different instructor tonight, another Jim, who KICKED OUR BUTTS in a wonderful way. I will definitely be coming back for his class as often as I can.

I'm not sure how "ready" I am for the 10K on Sunday but I showed myself last night that I can still handle over an hour of cardio so I figure I didn't lose as much fitness as I thought during my NOVEMBER post-marathon slump. YEAH!!!
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Tonight is the 5th Anniversary of Jim and my *first date* and JIM HAD TO REMIND ME!! I guess that is the kind of year it has been. We're heading out to dinner and then off to Penn Camera to buy each other *OUR* Christmas gift to each other. This year we are treating ourselves to a new camera: Nikon D70S We are both old school shutterbugs with about 5 cameras between the two of us that we use and about 10 antique cameras that decorate the townhouse.

I think we might have to set up a "schedule of use" with the new camera though ... I doubt it either one of us will want to let it go much in the first few weeks!

Somewhere in the midst of today, I need to fit in a 3 mile run. Looks like I have to make a date with a treadmill later today!

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!!

You SPIN me Round, Round ...

Last night I venture back to the gym with Jim. The winter training season is officially upon us and my tight work clothes are "WARNING" me that I am at my personal limit. A quick jump of the scale confirmed it. I could continue to bitch and moan and cry about how I have gained 20 pounds in the last 6 months but I'm not going to do that anymore.

Instead, I am going to do what I can to get back to my "pre-diagnosis" weight. I accept that I may not be able to do anything about the numbers on the scale but if I am "living as if" then eventually my body with catch up with me. I accept that a change in the scale might not happen for another 6 months but at least then I will know that is was something beyond my control.

Toostie Rolls don't qualify as "beyond my control" unfortunately.

So Jim and I headed to the gym and the local "SPINNING" class. For the un-familiar, SPINNING is 40 minutes of group exercise on stationary bikes with music pumping and a good spin instructor leading you on heart-pumping ride to nowhere.

Jim and I *LUV* to spin!!

Unfortunately for me, on my first time in class in 6 months, we had a substitute instructor who had NO RHYTHM at all! She was UP, she was DOWN, she was UP, she was SPRINTING ... Personally, I think that she must be hysterical to watch riding on a real road bike. I don't think this woman EVER spends any time in the saddle ... Perhaps she simply needs a new saddle?

After the first 15 minutes of her constant popping out the saddle to sprint, I simply chose to do my own thing and monitor my effort. I have enough years of SPIN classes to modify my workout as needed. So I still got a great 40 minute workout. I am looking forward to trying a different SPIN instructor on Thursday though. Anything has to be better then "Out of the Saddle" Sadie, the crazy spinning lady!

Living STRONG!

You SPIN me Round, Round ...

Last night I venture back to the gym with Jim. The winter training season is officially upon us and my tight work clothes are "WARNING" me that I am at my personal limit. A quick jump of the scale confirmed it. I could continue to bitch and moan and cry about how I have gained 20 pounds in the last 6 months but I'm not going to do that anymore.

Instead, I am going to do what I can to get back to my "pre-diagnosis" weight. I accept that I may not be able to do anything about the numbers on the scale but if I am "living as if" then eventually my body with catch up with me. I accept that a change in the scale might not happen for another 6 months but at least then I will know that is was something beyond my control.

Toostie Rolls don't qualify as "beyond my control" unfortunately.

So Jim and I headed to the gym and the local "SPINNING" class. For the un-familiar, SPINNING is 40 minutes of group exercise on stationary bikes with music pumping and a good spin instructor leading you on heart-pumping ride to nowhere.

Jim and I *LUV* to spin!!

Unfortunately for me, on my first time in class in 6 months, we had a substitute instructor who had NO RHYTHM at all! She was UP, she was DOWN, she was UP, she was SPRINTING ... Personally, I think that she must be hysterical to watch riding on a real road bike. I don't think this woman EVER spends any time in the saddle ... Perhaps she simply needs a new saddle?

After the first 15 minutes of her constant popping out the saddle to sprint, I simply chose to do my own thing and monitor my effort. I have enough years of SPIN classes to modify my workout as needed. So I still got a great 40 minute workout. I am looking forward to trying a different SPIN instructor on Thursday though. Anything has to be better then "Out of the Saddle" Sadie, the crazy spinning lady!

Living STRONG!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CATHY!!

My youngest sister Cathy turned the big *21* on Sunday. She was born during my Freshman year in Highschool and we are 14 years apart in age. Frankly, I don't see how she could be 21 .. since I don't feel much older. Hmmph ...

• I remember changing your diapers and burping you

(Heather, Cathy & Holly - 1986)

• I remember sitting you on my lap to brush your little curls (which are big beautiful waves of hair now!).



• You were always a patient model when I was in the mood to take pictures



• I still have stories that you wrote in grade school and drawings that you mailed me when I was far away (3 hours is far when you are 6!) in college.

• I may not have been around much for the majority of your childhood, I was off trying to "make my way" but you and Heather were always on my mind and in my thoughts and I cherished coming home for Christmas every year so I could see you.



• I don't remember when it happened but one year, I came home from Christmas and my "baby" sister was a young woman. And what an amazing woman you are!



Happy Birthday Baby Sister!! I love you!

All Grown Up and Elegant

December 1, 2005 - Holly and Jim at the American Patriot Award Gala.

On occasion I get the chance to do some really high profile design work. This was one of those occasions. The display behind us in the picture is my handy work. I don't have the full shots of the display developed yet but when I do, I will post it.

We had a wonderful time! Sometimes it is fun to get all "gussied up" and go out! My dress was a little more fitted than I would normally like but frankly, I was happy that it fit! Jim's pants are a bit long! We decided if we did this more often (formal events) that we would just have him buy a tux. You can only do so much with a rental!

Still, all things considered, we look mighty fine if I do say so myself.

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In an effort to get back on track, I got out this afternoon for 3 miles of run/walk intervals. I can't believe how quickly you can lose fitness! I had a hard time believing that I did a Marathon 30 days ago. Oh well, when you start - it is always at the beginning. At least I have the chance to "start!" I will take it.

Live STRONG!

HELP - MUST - ESCAPE ...

I have been sucked into the GIANT VACUUM that is WORK! I am the lead designer on a display for the American Patriot Award and everything needs to come together today for the Gala event tonight.

The fun part is that Jim & I get to attend the Formal Gala tonight. It will be the first time I have seen my guy in a tux! Hopefully not the last time! Hehehe.

In more embarassing news...I just saw my November Totals - UGH!! I am run/walking a 10K next weekend. Looks like I am going to focus on FUN and let my friend Keri be the one to set the PRs!! Looks like this weekend will be the perfect chance to jump start the training routine again.

I'll get back to normal posting tomorrow perhaps with a picture or two of Jim and I looking snazzy and hob-nobbing with Washington, D.C. Elite.

Till then, Live STRONG everybody.