My sister Heather is the funniest (& one of the funnest) people that I know and she just recently posted the following on her blog... She has just 8 weeks to go in her pregnancy.
My sister is defintely living STRONG!! ENJOY! (Last names altered to protect the unborn....)
July 28, 2006
To: Rowen Joeseph T (a.k.a. little fetus)
Re: Eviction Notice
Dear Mr. T,
This letter is to inform you that you have sixty (60) days to vacate the premises of : Mommy's (Heather) uterus. While you have been a wonderful tenant in the past, we have recently recieved many complaints of your behavior. This behavior includes: kicks to the ribcage, using the bladder as a trampoline, squashing the lungs resulting in shortness of breath, insomnia, swelling, and being the cause of general overall discomfort.
Our utmost concern is your health. Therefore, we would like to stress that we are in no rush for you to vacate premises before those sixty days unless you are developmentally ready (a.k.a. "done baking"). Please take as much time as needed to fully develp: lungs, brain, heart, and all bodily functions necessary for survival on the outside.
In order to assist you in this transition, we have provided a team of people who are eagerly awaiting you on the outside. This includes your mommy and daddy, four aunts, but just one uncle, four very excited grandparents, and a handful of friends who already consider you family. All of these people will ensure that you find your stay on the "outside" very comfortable and full of love.
Again, we thank you for your timely attention to this matter. If not vacated by the 27th of September, physical action may be taken, including but not limited to: jumping on a trampoline, eating super hot chicken wings, or anything else of (desperate) mommy's discretion.
Once again, we hope you enjoyed your stay, but now it's time to get out.
Sincerely, Mommy (a.k.a. owner, Heather's Uterus)