My week in general has been fantastic! Seems as though the reduction in dose on the shots makes a big difference. My blood work came up a full 1/4 of a point this week and I have had alot more energy.
On Wednesday I had a run/walk to remember! While it was slightly less than 4 miles - short by some people's standards - My first 2 miles were sub 12:30s. That is HUGE when you consider that I haven't seen anything under 13:00 since I started chemo in mid-May. For the record, my intervals were 2/1 Run/Walk for that workout.
On Thursday, feeling well rested and like a "half-a-million bucks" aka Pretty Darn Good, I put a second coat of paint on the hallway and I rode my bike 17 miles. It took me a pedestrian 1.5 hours to cover the distance but I felt good the entire way. Then I came home, had some dinner, gave myself a shot and began yawning constantly until I went to bed around 9:30 pm.
And all of this activity is after a 5 hour work day. I am up to 25 hours a week now and aiming for 30 hours next week.
So with such a great week, why such a negative title to my blog?
Because I am still trying to find some balance and struggling a little. Today I woke up feeling exhausted with a headache which has yet to dull. You would never know that I slept a full 9 hours last night. So obviously I over did it somewhere between the painting and the bike ride. Perhaps the balance will be found in riding 10 miles instead of 17 when I do something in addition to the workout? Maybe I should have taken yesterday off from the workout and done the bike ride today?
With 7 weeks out of 48 weeks of shots finished, I still feel like I am struggling to find some balance. But I have faith that I will find it. It is just taking a little bit longer than I imagined.
Today there will only be recovery since I have a long run on the schedule for this weekend and the long run will be my ONLY workout this weekend so that I can start the work week feeling rested and ready to go!
Wherever you are in your life, I hope you find some balance and have a wonderful weekend !!
Live STRONG!
Friday, August 19, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
HOT Weekend Update
The road to hell is paved with good intentions and just as HOT as this weekend was...Perhaps hotter.
I did not get my long run in this weekend. The heat sucked every last bit of energy that I had whenever I was out in it. I also had one of my college roommates (Class of '92) in town from California so the focus was on catching up and spending time together. I feel no remorse in missing the long run, I had a fun weekend!
My friend Sandy and I had a wonderful visit and we all attended a Bowling birthday party for one of Jim's friends. Does bowling count as cardio? I bowled 3 games, each one progressively worse but I didn't feel as tired as my scores indicated. Funny how that works!
I stand humbled by all my athletic friends like Nancy who got out and got their workouts in this weekend's heat and humidity. I'm not worthy!
I did get a 3 mile Run/Walk in yesterday in the early evening after a good nap. It was still pretty hot but there was a breeze and shade on the trails and that made a big difference. Today my legs are feeling a little fatigued but the rest of the body is holding up well! Looks like the reduction in Interferon per shot agrees with me so far.
Looking to the week ahead, I have to really get serious about getting in my long run/walks or else I have no business even considering showing up at Arlington cemetery on October 30th for the Marine Corps Marathon. While I have some pretty big goals that I don't want to abandon. I do have the proper respect for the distance and the other folks out there who are training hard. I figure that as long as I can get on track with my long runs and have a positive racing experience on October 2 at the Army 10 Miler then I can make an informed decision on stepping up to the starting line at the Marine Corps Marathon.
I have been tagged by Nancy. I guess I better get to work on coming up with some answers. More to follow later in the week!
Keep Living STRONG folks!
I did not get my long run in this weekend. The heat sucked every last bit of energy that I had whenever I was out in it. I also had one of my college roommates (Class of '92) in town from California so the focus was on catching up and spending time together. I feel no remorse in missing the long run, I had a fun weekend!
My friend Sandy and I had a wonderful visit and we all attended a Bowling birthday party for one of Jim's friends. Does bowling count as cardio? I bowled 3 games, each one progressively worse but I didn't feel as tired as my scores indicated. Funny how that works!
I stand humbled by all my athletic friends like Nancy who got out and got their workouts in this weekend's heat and humidity. I'm not worthy!
I did get a 3 mile Run/Walk in yesterday in the early evening after a good nap. It was still pretty hot but there was a breeze and shade on the trails and that made a big difference. Today my legs are feeling a little fatigued but the rest of the body is holding up well! Looks like the reduction in Interferon per shot agrees with me so far.
Looking to the week ahead, I have to really get serious about getting in my long run/walks or else I have no business even considering showing up at Arlington cemetery on October 30th for the Marine Corps Marathon. While I have some pretty big goals that I don't want to abandon. I do have the proper respect for the distance and the other folks out there who are training hard. I figure that as long as I can get on track with my long runs and have a positive racing experience on October 2 at the Army 10 Miler then I can make an informed decision on stepping up to the starting line at the Marine Corps Marathon.
I have been tagged by Nancy. I guess I better get to work on coming up with some answers. More to follow later in the week!
Keep Living STRONG folks!
Friday, August 12, 2005
A better week by far
Every day this week has felt better than the day before. In fact yesterday I felt down right "NORMAL". It was a great day. I was feisty at work, had a lot of energy and came home and rode 13 miles on my bike on the local trails with Nancy!
You know every time I get on my bike, I fall in love with it all over again. That doesn't happen with running or swimming. Sure if I miss some runs, I crave running but I don't love it in the way that I "LOVE" riding my bike.
Bike Love is a beautiful thing!
We are in for a scorcher this weekend and I have a 120 minute run/walk workout on the calendar. The goal is to cover the time, even if I can't run all of it. Looks like I will be up EARLY (6AM) to beat the heat!
Hope everybody has a wonderful weekend! Live STRONG!
You know every time I get on my bike, I fall in love with it all over again. That doesn't happen with running or swimming. Sure if I miss some runs, I crave running but I don't love it in the way that I "LOVE" riding my bike.
Bike Love is a beautiful thing!
We are in for a scorcher this weekend and I have a 120 minute run/walk workout on the calendar. The goal is to cover the time, even if I can't run all of it. Looks like I will be up EARLY (6AM) to beat the heat!
Hope everybody has a wonderful weekend! Live STRONG!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
TOXIC & Free to run!!
My appointment with Dr. Butler was good on many levels. I left feeling like I really understood where I am at. Nothing beats being well-informed!
My white blood count was still low (4.1) and my neutraphil (1.37) count has not budged. I guess I should be happy that it hasn't dropped more but I was hoping for a positive change. Some indication that my body was adjusting to the Interferon.
From an Interferon/Melanoma Point of View: Last weeks fatigue and constant upset stomach are symptoms that I am reaching a level of toxicity. Dr. Butler decided to reduce my shots from 10 MIU to 5 MIU for the next 3 weeks to see if my symptoms abate a little. The "goal" is to get me through an entire year of treatment so he is more concerned with finding the level of Interferon that I can tolerate for a year rather than giving me the max dose at this point.
As he so simply put it: "If I thought that nothing but 10 MIU was going to help you, I would tell you that these are your symptoms and I am sorry but you will have to get used to them but I don't think that is necessary in your case."
From there we moved onto my "exercise" questions. I told Dr. Butler that I really wanted to run/walk the Army 10 Miler and the Marine Corps Marathon. He got a giant smile on his face and said that is that is what I wanted to do to go ahead. From a medical point of view he said that training for the marathon has no direct impact on my Melanoma, my white blood cell count or my treatment.
His overall advice was to really make it a point to "listen to what my body is telling me" while I train. He cautioned me that the training will probably increase my level of fatigue depending on training volumes. He said to be very cautious of heat exhaustion and my hydration and thought that I will feel more exhausted after the Marathon than I would have if I wasn't undergoing chemo. He said he would make a note in my charts and keep him updated on my mileage and the fatigue levels.
Nothing beats having an Oncologist who ran a 10 miler to celebrate his 60th Birthday! Dr. Butler really does ROCK!
So this morning, I don't feel any better than yesterday - I'm still toxic and my white blood count is low BUT I am free to dream big and a run/walk will not make things any worse! Marine Corps Marathon/14th Street Bridge cutoff here I come! Living STRONG all the way!
My white blood count was still low (4.1) and my neutraphil (1.37) count has not budged. I guess I should be happy that it hasn't dropped more but I was hoping for a positive change. Some indication that my body was adjusting to the Interferon.
From an Interferon/Melanoma Point of View: Last weeks fatigue and constant upset stomach are symptoms that I am reaching a level of toxicity. Dr. Butler decided to reduce my shots from 10 MIU to 5 MIU for the next 3 weeks to see if my symptoms abate a little. The "goal" is to get me through an entire year of treatment so he is more concerned with finding the level of Interferon that I can tolerate for a year rather than giving me the max dose at this point.
As he so simply put it: "If I thought that nothing but 10 MIU was going to help you, I would tell you that these are your symptoms and I am sorry but you will have to get used to them but I don't think that is necessary in your case."
From there we moved onto my "exercise" questions. I told Dr. Butler that I really wanted to run/walk the Army 10 Miler and the Marine Corps Marathon. He got a giant smile on his face and said that is that is what I wanted to do to go ahead. From a medical point of view he said that training for the marathon has no direct impact on my Melanoma, my white blood cell count or my treatment.
His overall advice was to really make it a point to "listen to what my body is telling me" while I train. He cautioned me that the training will probably increase my level of fatigue depending on training volumes. He said to be very cautious of heat exhaustion and my hydration and thought that I will feel more exhausted after the Marathon than I would have if I wasn't undergoing chemo. He said he would make a note in my charts and keep him updated on my mileage and the fatigue levels.
Nothing beats having an Oncologist who ran a 10 miler to celebrate his 60th Birthday! Dr. Butler really does ROCK!
So this morning, I don't feel any better than yesterday - I'm still toxic and my white blood count is low BUT I am free to dream big and a run/walk will not make things any worse! Marine Corps Marathon/14th Street Bridge cutoff here I come! Living STRONG all the way!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Checking In
Last week turned out to be a wash in the grand scheme of things but I learned some good lessons about fatigue and managing my resources. In a nutshell, I was reminded that to get things done, I had to prioritize and be willing to let the small things go. In this case last week the "small things" turned out to be my daily exercise and my priorities were work and "one chore" per day. As long as I was able to come home and do "one thing" before I gave into the fatigue, the day was a success.
This weekend was devoted to rest and relaxation. It was just me, TIVO and the latest Harry Potter book while Jim was doing his Reserve Weekend. It was just what the Dr. ordered.
So now a new week has begun and already I have some encouraging news to report. Yesterday I got a 2.5 mile Run/Walk done. My goal this week is simply 30-40 minutes of cardio, every other day. I'm off to a good start!
Living STRONG, day by day!
This weekend was devoted to rest and relaxation. It was just me, TIVO and the latest Harry Potter book while Jim was doing his Reserve Weekend. It was just what the Dr. ordered.
So now a new week has begun and already I have some encouraging news to report. Yesterday I got a 2.5 mile Run/Walk done. My goal this week is simply 30-40 minutes of cardio, every other day. I'm off to a good start!
Living STRONG, day by day!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
A Mother's Last Gift
On Tueday, August 2, here in Arlington, VA, Susan Anne Catherine Torres was delivered via c-section. She was 1 pound, 13 ounces and 142 days early. She is doing well.
Her mother, Susan Torres, had a stroke on May 7th - a complication of Melanoma. She had originally been diagnosed in her teens and was cancer-free for 9 years. Susan was only 26 when she passed. The rest of her story can be found here.
You can make a donation to The Susan M. Torres Fund to help offset the familys medical expenses, if you like.
Be aware, appreciate what you have and Live STRONG!
Her mother, Susan Torres, had a stroke on May 7th - a complication of Melanoma. She had originally been diagnosed in her teens and was cancer-free for 9 years. Susan was only 26 when she passed. The rest of her story can be found here.You can make a donation to The Susan M. Torres Fund to help offset the familys medical expenses, if you like.
Be aware, appreciate what you have and Live STRONG!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
OUCH!
GROWL, GRUMBLE, GROAN...
I have a "yet to be determined" pain in the front of my right shin about 2 inches up from my ankle. It feels like a shin splint but it is pretty specific and only hurts when I am walking. I don't recall doing anything and as a matter of fact I took yesterday OFF as an additional day of recovery since this weekend was pretty big in terms of activty. Any ideas on what could be causing my pain? I will be icing it when I get home tonight!
I guess I won't run today but hop on the bike and do an easy 10-15 miles if I don't melt first. Man it is HOT today!
My white blood cells are playing "rollercoaster" again. Last week they were up and now they are back down low. I thought maybe I had done it with too much of a good time this weekend but upon doing some research, I learned that Exercise encourages your body to create more nuetraphils.
I have an appointment with Dr. Butler next week and I am going to "beat a dead horse" and ask him more about how much or little I can exercise as well as what he thinks of my low blood counts and my desire to do the Marine Corps Marathon.
The reality is that this year I need to focus on staying healthy and getting as much treatment as I can. If run/walking the Marine Corps is going to have a negative impact on my overall health than I will defer it to next year. It is worth it to ask Dr. Butler's medical opinion and maybe run my workout schedule by him.
Right now I am honestly torn between just dropping out of it all together and just waiting to see how I feel next week. I suspect that some of my desire to just defer now has everything to do with feeling so fatigued this week and having very little desire to get out and exercise. Two or three years ago, I would have acted on my impulse and defered right away but I have grown more patient in the past year and I am willing to wait and see what the next few weeks bring.
On a happier note: Look!!! It's me and Catherine, Elisabeth & Nancy at the Blackwater Duathon! (I am the lady behind the jog stroller.)
I have a "yet to be determined" pain in the front of my right shin about 2 inches up from my ankle. It feels like a shin splint but it is pretty specific and only hurts when I am walking. I don't recall doing anything and as a matter of fact I took yesterday OFF as an additional day of recovery since this weekend was pretty big in terms of activty. Any ideas on what could be causing my pain? I will be icing it when I get home tonight!
I guess I won't run today but hop on the bike and do an easy 10-15 miles if I don't melt first. Man it is HOT today!
My white blood cells are playing "rollercoaster" again. Last week they were up and now they are back down low. I thought maybe I had done it with too much of a good time this weekend but upon doing some research, I learned that Exercise encourages your body to create more nuetraphils.
I have an appointment with Dr. Butler next week and I am going to "beat a dead horse" and ask him more about how much or little I can exercise as well as what he thinks of my low blood counts and my desire to do the Marine Corps Marathon.
The reality is that this year I need to focus on staying healthy and getting as much treatment as I can. If run/walking the Marine Corps is going to have a negative impact on my overall health than I will defer it to next year. It is worth it to ask Dr. Butler's medical opinion and maybe run my workout schedule by him.
Right now I am honestly torn between just dropping out of it all together and just waiting to see how I feel next week. I suspect that some of my desire to just defer now has everything to do with feeling so fatigued this week and having very little desire to get out and exercise. Two or three years ago, I would have acted on my impulse and defered right away but I have grown more patient in the past year and I am willing to wait and see what the next few weeks bring.
On a happier note: Look!!! It's me and Catherine, Elisabeth & Nancy at the Blackwater Duathon! (I am the lady behind the jog stroller.)
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Tag!
Flatman AND Nancy tagged me. These questions required some thought! Who knew??
-----
Q: What are you training for now?
A: Army 10 Miler & the Marine Corps Marathon. The only goal is to FINISH, I'm not going for any PRs this year.
-----
Q: If you are raising money for a cause, what is it and why is that cause important to you?
A: I'm not fundraising at the moment but I have been known to do so in the past. Right now I have been supporting others. I think that the Lance Armstrong Foundation and the Hero for a Day Ride benefiting Food and Friends in Washington, D.C. are great charities. Check them out!
-----
Q: What is the furthest distance you've run in your training and what is the furthest distance you will run before your event?
A: The longest run I have ever done in my training is 20 miles two years ago while training for the DC Marathon. Because of my current health, my coach and I are focusing on time and not miles right now. I expect that my furthest distance before the Marine Corps this year will be about 4-4.5 hours and whatever distance that ends up being.
-----
Q:What is your favorite flavor of gu? (or other sports gel)
A: Vanilla Bean Gu and Cliff Sonic Strawberry are my gels of choice
-----
Q: How many days a week do you run?
A: 3 or 4 (just like Nancy!)
-----
Q: Are you injured in any way right now? If so,what are you doing about it?
A: No, but I am in the midst of low dose Interferon chemotherapy for malignant melanoma (skin cancer) right now so I am often battling chemo-induced fatigue. I just take my workouts one day at a time and do what my body will allow. I have over done it on occasion so far but I am learning to moderate better each week.
-----
Q:What is one item of running clothing/gear (shoes don't count) you can't run without?
A: I can't run without a good sports bra (Champion Drylite) and I love my water bottle belt!!
-----
Q: Do you have a talisman you are planning on taking to your event? If so, tell us!
A: I'll be wearing the LiveSTRONG bracelet that I have been wearing since Spring 2004. This particular bracelet will be "retired" on the last day that I have my low dose chemo next spring 2006.
-----
Q: Share one thing about yourself we don't know.
A: I am a voracious reader and I love going to book stores. I could easily spend a full day curled up on the couch reading all day. When I was a very little girl (4-5-6) my parents would go to the book store at least once a week and I always got a Dr. Suess book. My sisters "ate" my first edition Dr. Suess series (baby slobber is like acid!! LOL) but I have been slowly rebuilding my collection over the last 10 years.
-----
Q: What are you training for now?
A: Army 10 Miler & the Marine Corps Marathon. The only goal is to FINISH, I'm not going for any PRs this year.
-----
Q: If you are raising money for a cause, what is it and why is that cause important to you?
A: I'm not fundraising at the moment but I have been known to do so in the past. Right now I have been supporting others. I think that the Lance Armstrong Foundation and the Hero for a Day Ride benefiting Food and Friends in Washington, D.C. are great charities. Check them out!
-----
Q: What is the furthest distance you've run in your training and what is the furthest distance you will run before your event?
A: The longest run I have ever done in my training is 20 miles two years ago while training for the DC Marathon. Because of my current health, my coach and I are focusing on time and not miles right now. I expect that my furthest distance before the Marine Corps this year will be about 4-4.5 hours and whatever distance that ends up being.
-----
Q:What is your favorite flavor of gu? (or other sports gel)
A: Vanilla Bean Gu and Cliff Sonic Strawberry are my gels of choice
-----
Q: How many days a week do you run?
A: 3 or 4 (just like Nancy!)
-----
Q: Are you injured in any way right now? If so,what are you doing about it?
A: No, but I am in the midst of low dose Interferon chemotherapy for malignant melanoma (skin cancer) right now so I am often battling chemo-induced fatigue. I just take my workouts one day at a time and do what my body will allow. I have over done it on occasion so far but I am learning to moderate better each week.
-----
Q:What is one item of running clothing/gear (shoes don't count) you can't run without?
A: I can't run without a good sports bra (Champion Drylite) and I love my water bottle belt!!
-----
Q: Do you have a talisman you are planning on taking to your event? If so, tell us!
A: I'll be wearing the LiveSTRONG bracelet that I have been wearing since Spring 2004. This particular bracelet will be "retired" on the last day that I have my low dose chemo next spring 2006.
-----
Q: Share one thing about yourself we don't know.
A: I am a voracious reader and I love going to book stores. I could easily spend a full day curled up on the couch reading all day. When I was a very little girl (4-5-6) my parents would go to the book store at least once a week and I always got a Dr. Suess book. My sisters "ate" my first edition Dr. Suess series (baby slobber is like acid!! LOL) but I have been slowly rebuilding my collection over the last 10 years.
Monday, August 01, 2005
The week in review - Ride like a girl!
I have been such a slacker and I have much to share. My birthday week was a grand success. Not only did I get some quality workouts in this week but I also got some wonderful cards, flowers and gifts from friends and family. My mom sent me a great tshirt (Ride like a Girl!) and a new cycling jersey and Jim bought me a 6 DVD set of the 2004 Tour de France!
All the unsolicited bike encouragement led to a wonderful yet tiring 23 mile bike ride through the FLAT roads of St. Michael's this weekend with Ellie and Diane, while visiting with Nancy. We got stuck briefly in a rain shower but the warm weather and lack of thunder or lightening just added to the fun.
Saturday was the first GWO Ladies Track meet and not only did I learn what the little marks on the track meant but I also ran my first timed 100, 200 and attempted 400s. Even with a warm up, there was nothing left in my legs for the 400. It's something to shoot for later on! Inquiring minds may want to know how fast I was .... Not fast at all. I was last 2 out of 3 times. I'm not to worried though, I had fun running as fast as I could and found some muscles (THAT ARE SORE NOW!) that I didn't even know I had.
Sunday was the Blackwater Traverse Duathlonout in Cambridge, MD. The GWO ladies ALL came back with hardware from the race! Ellie took 2 Overall in her age group, W50-54; Nancy took 1st place Athena 40+; and Jeanne and Diane took 1st place for woman's Relay team! I took 1st place as Baby Sitter for Nancy's wonderful twins, Catherine and Elizabeth. Once I figured out that the girls preferred apple juice, fruit loops, and walking in the jog stroller instead of sitting around watching the race, we were golden. I think all told I walked them for at least 3 of the 4 hours that we were in Cambridge. This included some "speed work" and " stroller acrobatics". I actually woke up with sore abs today!
Adventure du jour (translated: Adventure of the Day) - The first day on Celexa; anti-depression meds to counter the progressive depression that has been creeping in on the weekly Intron-A shots. It has only been a few hours so I am not going to make any immediate judgments on effectiveness but I can tell you that I'm not enjoying the cotton mouth. In reality it takes about 2-4 weeks for enough meds to build in your body to be effective so in this case only a little time will tell.
Flatman has tagged me!! I will need to tackle this tonight at my leisure but for now my lunch break is over! More to come later ....
All the unsolicited bike encouragement led to a wonderful yet tiring 23 mile bike ride through the FLAT roads of St. Michael's this weekend with Ellie and Diane, while visiting with Nancy. We got stuck briefly in a rain shower but the warm weather and lack of thunder or lightening just added to the fun.
Saturday was the first GWO Ladies Track meet and not only did I learn what the little marks on the track meant but I also ran my first timed 100, 200 and attempted 400s. Even with a warm up, there was nothing left in my legs for the 400. It's something to shoot for later on! Inquiring minds may want to know how fast I was .... Not fast at all. I was last 2 out of 3 times. I'm not to worried though, I had fun running as fast as I could and found some muscles (THAT ARE SORE NOW!) that I didn't even know I had.
Sunday was the Blackwater Traverse Duathlonout in Cambridge, MD. The GWO ladies ALL came back with hardware from the race! Ellie took 2 Overall in her age group, W50-54; Nancy took 1st place Athena 40+; and Jeanne and Diane took 1st place for woman's Relay team! I took 1st place as Baby Sitter for Nancy's wonderful twins, Catherine and Elizabeth. Once I figured out that the girls preferred apple juice, fruit loops, and walking in the jog stroller instead of sitting around watching the race, we were golden. I think all told I walked them for at least 3 of the 4 hours that we were in Cambridge. This included some "speed work" and " stroller acrobatics". I actually woke up with sore abs today!
Adventure du jour (translated: Adventure of the Day) - The first day on Celexa; anti-depression meds to counter the progressive depression that has been creeping in on the weekly Intron-A shots. It has only been a few hours so I am not going to make any immediate judgments on effectiveness but I can tell you that I'm not enjoying the cotton mouth. In reality it takes about 2-4 weeks for enough meds to build in your body to be effective so in this case only a little time will tell.
Flatman has tagged me!! I will need to tackle this tonight at my leisure but for now my lunch break is over! More to come later ....
Monday, July 25, 2005
How sweet it is ...
to be loved by you!
I close my eyes at night
Wondering where would I be without you in my life
Everything I did was just a bore
Everywhere I went it seems I’d been there before
But you brighten up for me all of my days
With a love so sweet in so many ways
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you!!!
Jim took me to see James Taylor this weekend as an early Birthday present! (My Birthday is Tuesday, July 26th, hehehe) We had a great time and Mr. Taylor played my favorite songs .... "Carolina on My Mind" and "How Sweet it Is". I told Jim that this was a birthday gift not to be beaten and he reminded me that not much could top last year's "34th Birthday in Paris, France." While it is indeed hard to top that, in light of the year we have been having, this year's gift definately compares.
I didn't get much of a workout in this weekend. A short 2.5 mile walk on Sunday to my friend Liz's place. She took me out to lunch for my Birthday at the Potowmack Landing Restaraunt. (I did spell the name correctly - I think it is an Indian spelling) We had lovely Crabcake sandwiches and watched the ducks and sailboats meandering by. It was lovely.
All in all it should continue to be a wonderful week. My new running shoes are in and I am going to spend the weekend with my friend Nancy's beach house in St. Michaels. She has invited a small group of fellow triathletes and it will be awesome to meet the other women in person finally. I am going to work hard to be the resident cheerleader, director of "taper" miles for the ladies who are racing this weekend and keeper of the Toby Twins (at least during the dualthon).
Not too shabby a week in store!
I close my eyes at night
Wondering where would I be without you in my life
Everything I did was just a bore
Everywhere I went it seems I’d been there before
But you brighten up for me all of my days
With a love so sweet in so many ways
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you!!!
Jim took me to see James Taylor this weekend as an early Birthday present! (My Birthday is Tuesday, July 26th, hehehe) We had a great time and Mr. Taylor played my favorite songs .... "Carolina on My Mind" and "How Sweet it Is". I told Jim that this was a birthday gift not to be beaten and he reminded me that not much could top last year's "34th Birthday in Paris, France." While it is indeed hard to top that, in light of the year we have been having, this year's gift definately compares.
I didn't get much of a workout in this weekend. A short 2.5 mile walk on Sunday to my friend Liz's place. She took me out to lunch for my Birthday at the Potowmack Landing Restaraunt. (I did spell the name correctly - I think it is an Indian spelling) We had lovely Crabcake sandwiches and watched the ducks and sailboats meandering by. It was lovely.
All in all it should continue to be a wonderful week. My new running shoes are in and I am going to spend the weekend with my friend Nancy's beach house in St. Michaels. She has invited a small group of fellow triathletes and it will be awesome to meet the other women in person finally. I am going to work hard to be the resident cheerleader, director of "taper" miles for the ladies who are racing this weekend and keeper of the Toby Twins (at least during the dualthon).
Not too shabby a week in store!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
There is a light at the end of the tunnel...
and it is not another train! That is the great expression my co-worker L. used today when she referred to my current state of things. I had just been telling her that for the first time in week, I actually feel like I leave work having accomplished something at the end of my day. I have been working about 6 hours a day for the past 3 weeks and my adjustment has been slow but steady. I hope to be back to full time by summer's end but it is slow going.L.'s very enlightening (and witty) comment also gave me a moment to stop and realize just how far I have come since all of this started in February. It hasn't been easy but none of it has been impossible either. I'll take that as a blessing. So far, I have been able to handle it all, with the love, support and encouragement of Jim, my family, and the huge network of friends I am so lucky to have at home, work, across the country and across the internet.
My blood counts were dropping on Tuesday's check. Looks like I might get a day or two off from shots next week if the trend continues. A break in shots might give me a chance to recover a little more from the latest round of fatigue. And that could mean some quality workouts on the horizon!!
ENDORPHINS!! I miss them! I tried to find them today at the gym for about 25 minutes. No luck though, they just barely eluded me. If my new sneakers come in this weekend (Overstock.com - last year's model on sale!!!) then I will go out on the trails and continue to look for more endorphins. I know there are some out there for me!
Monday, July 18, 2005
Hanging in there ...
I don't have much enthusiasm lately but I am still trying to find it wherever I can. This lack of enthusiasm is definately the Interferon. Drugs are stupid but more Cancer is not an option, so I will take the drugs.
Jim's back is much better and he has been going to the physical therapist to strengthen it up and make sure the disc returns back to it's normal spot. He went to Dr. Wagner and he said that the hernia was small, "Come back in a month and let me check it again." Dr. Wagner feels that urgery can wait for now. I know Jim is doing better because he has been back on the bike and the BMW motorcyle this week. He would do that unless he was pain free!
The weekend was a bit of a wash in terms of a long run. Friday I had energy for naps only and Saturday I SLUGGED through 3 miles of run/walk intervals. By the time Sunday bloomed hot and humid, I had opted for a short walk. The hightlight of the weekend was having friends over for an tiny "Tour de France - Stage 17" get-together. That was great fun!
I'm feeling funky today and trying to add an extra hour to the work day. So far, it's a little harder than I thought it might be. Still it's better than being on high-dose and I am 2 weeks down with only 46 to go!
Living STRONG but a little sleepy.
Jim's back is much better and he has been going to the physical therapist to strengthen it up and make sure the disc returns back to it's normal spot. He went to Dr. Wagner and he said that the hernia was small, "Come back in a month and let me check it again." Dr. Wagner feels that urgery can wait for now. I know Jim is doing better because he has been back on the bike and the BMW motorcyle this week. He would do that unless he was pain free!
The weekend was a bit of a wash in terms of a long run. Friday I had energy for naps only and Saturday I SLUGGED through 3 miles of run/walk intervals. By the time Sunday bloomed hot and humid, I had opted for a short walk. The hightlight of the weekend was having friends over for an tiny "Tour de France - Stage 17" get-together. That was great fun!
I'm feeling funky today and trying to add an extra hour to the work day. So far, it's a little harder than I thought it might be. Still it's better than being on high-dose and I am 2 weeks down with only 46 to go!
Living STRONG but a little sleepy.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
CRAZY??? NOT!
It's been a heck of a week and it is only Wednesday. I have been feeling quite insane and while I could attribute some of it to the Interferon, there were side effects that were making NO SENSE that I could not handle. There are some things that take me quickly to the edge, WEIGHT GAIN is one of those things. I gained a few pounds on vacation. I knew that. About 5 to be exact. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is the additional 4 pounds that I seem to have gained in the last 2 weeks! That is INSANE!! Every other day over the last 2 weeks my scale has registered another pound gained. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
The kicker is that my activity level is up from vacation and my eating is down. Do the math and I should be settling back to my pre-vacation weight. SO WHY AM I GAINING???????
What has changed? CELEBREX!
While my headaches are gone and my knees ache less, I am gaining weight rapidly. It is likely just water retention OR weight gain, both less common side effects of the drug. The real issue for me is that emotionally, I can't take that side effect in stride. My weight is tied into too many other triggers in my life. Most especially depression.
I can't even begin to tell you what a relief it was to find a factor I could control. No Celebex, no weight gain. I am going to try going back to Aleve for a few days and see if:
1. The weight starts coming off
2. The headaches start again.
Then I will call Dr. Butler and see what he recommends. I need to find a pain management solution that doesn't throw me into manic depression and gaining a significant amount of weight will defiantely do that ...just ask my therapist.
Running is going well! I ran/walked 3 miles on Saturday, 5 miles on Sunday, took Monday off and covered 2.5 miles yesterday. Other than some fatigue and a little knee pain post run (for which ICE seems to be working well) I am happy to be logging 10+ miles a week. So what it some of it is walking, it sure beats doing nothing!Hope everybody is living STRONG this week!
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wonderful penguin image borrowed from Runner's World Magazine go and check it out!!)
Friday, July 08, 2005
It's like playing the "side effects" lottery ...
But you don't get a big fat check .. unless you are a Dr....
It's not so hard to find humor in chemotherapy. They give you a list of the numerous possible side effects and then it is up to you to figure out, based on your wacky body reactions, which ones you have. Welcome to the "side effects" lottery. Holly's drawings are on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights. What will she win this week??? Let's poke her thigh with a needle and see what comes up, shall we?
Yesterday after a week of Insurance DRAMA, I got my new Intron-A pens. They are quite functional and the needle is small. So far I like it. In terms of giving yourself a shot, it's convenient and simple. Not cheap but simple in design and function much like good art deco furniture.
It's also very concentrated. .2 mls delivers 10 MIU - Now that will pack a punch!
Unlike the last 2 shots; I felt the shot right away. Today my brain is muddy and I have come across a new side effect. I have to confess, I don't like this "new" side effect much. My knees are sore. Not achey but SORE. Sore like I ran a 1/2 Marathon in bad running shoes. I guess this is the possible "joint pain" that they list on the little "info pack".
OR my running sneakers are wearing out....Not likely though since I have not yet gotten more than 2 miles of running in this week and the last run was on Wednesday. I have done a lot of walking this week but not nearly enough running.
Still I am not too discouraged yet. I have not yet tested to see if this pain effects my running or exercise and I have a great coach with plenty of good ideas. I also have access to a pool ... can I say " Water jogging" ... Yes I can!
Hope everybody has a WONDERFUL weekend!
It's not so hard to find humor in chemotherapy. They give you a list of the numerous possible side effects and then it is up to you to figure out, based on your wacky body reactions, which ones you have. Welcome to the "side effects" lottery. Holly's drawings are on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights. What will she win this week??? Let's poke her thigh with a needle and see what comes up, shall we?
Yesterday after a week of Insurance DRAMA, I got my new Intron-A pens. They are quite functional and the needle is small. So far I like it. In terms of giving yourself a shot, it's convenient and simple. Not cheap but simple in design and function much like good art deco furniture.
It's also very concentrated. .2 mls delivers 10 MIU - Now that will pack a punch!
Unlike the last 2 shots; I felt the shot right away. Today my brain is muddy and I have come across a new side effect. I have to confess, I don't like this "new" side effect much. My knees are sore. Not achey but SORE. Sore like I ran a 1/2 Marathon in bad running shoes. I guess this is the possible "joint pain" that they list on the little "info pack".
OR my running sneakers are wearing out....Not likely though since I have not yet gotten more than 2 miles of running in this week and the last run was on Wednesday. I have done a lot of walking this week but not nearly enough running.
Still I am not too discouraged yet. I have not yet tested to see if this pain effects my running or exercise and I have a great coach with plenty of good ideas. I also have access to a pool ... can I say " Water jogging" ... Yes I can!
Hope everybody has a WONDERFUL weekend!
Thursday, July 07, 2005
A little perspective
It only takes a moment in time to remind you that things are not as bad as they seem. I know, first hand, as many American's do, how desperate, shocking and demoralized you feel in the days following a terrorist attack. I'd choose go through chemo many times over again before I would ever choose to feel the way I did on September 11, 2001 with Jim working at the Pentagon.
My prayers and heart-felt wishes go out to those in London affected by the terrorist attacks.
-----------------------
I also wanted to send a giant WELCOME to Jackson Scott Cosker who arrived into the world on July 1st at 6:46 pm.
He is a big boy at at 9 lbs, 6 ozs and took his sweet time getting here. My poor girlfriend Theresa had to be induced. I guess Jack was enjoying the warm water...hmmm perhaps we have a new "Michael Phelps" in the making.
May your every dream and wish come true in your lifetime Jack!
Mommy, Jack and big sister Addison
My prayers and heart-felt wishes go out to those in London affected by the terrorist attacks.
-----------------------
I also wanted to send a giant WELCOME to Jackson Scott Cosker who arrived into the world on July 1st at 6:46 pm.
He is a big boy at at 9 lbs, 6 ozs and took his sweet time getting here. My poor girlfriend Theresa had to be induced. I guess Jack was enjoying the warm water...hmmm perhaps we have a new "Michael Phelps" in the making.
May your every dream and wish come true in your lifetime Jack!
Mommy, Jack and big sister Addison
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
STUPID STUPID STUPID
We interupt this blogcast to take a moment to acknowlege how STUPID my health insurance company is ...
WICKED STUPID!!! (as they say up in Northern New England)
For the past 48 hours I have been caught up in the endless loop of "pre-approval" hell to fill my RX for the self-injecting pens of Intron-A which I need 3x a week for the next 47 weeks. I asked my Dr. office BEFORE treatment of high-dose started, to make sure I was pre-approved for Interferon.
I imagine I was or they would not have been able to start the high-dose chemo.
I imagine I was or the insurance company would not have already started sending checks to my Dr. covering my high-dose treatment.
Apprently I am mistaken. Suddenly the insurance company is not aware of my present need for Intron-A.
I have been diagnosed for 5 months!
I have had 2 surgerys, which they covered!
I have had 4 weeks of chemo, which they are covering!
WICKED STUPID!!!! ARG!!!
WICKED STUPID!!! (as they say up in Northern New England)
For the past 48 hours I have been caught up in the endless loop of "pre-approval" hell to fill my RX for the self-injecting pens of Intron-A which I need 3x a week for the next 47 weeks. I asked my Dr. office BEFORE treatment of high-dose started, to make sure I was pre-approved for Interferon.
I imagine I was or they would not have been able to start the high-dose chemo.
I imagine I was or the insurance company would not have already started sending checks to my Dr. covering my high-dose treatment.
Apprently I am mistaken. Suddenly the insurance company is not aware of my present need for Intron-A.
I have been diagnosed for 5 months!
I have had 2 surgerys, which they covered!
I have had 4 weeks of chemo, which they are covering!
WICKED STUPID!!!! ARG!!!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Tag - IPod Mini style
Oldman tagged me to list my top six favorite songs. I like too many different types of music to narrow it down to six so I figured that I would list the top six most played songs on my IPod Mini.
Holly's Top Six Workout Songs:
Burning down the House - Talking Heads
Dirty - Christina Aguilera
Carry On Wayward Son - Kansas
Get Ur Freak On - Missy Elliot
Right Now - Van Halen
Smooth - Santana (with Rob Thomas)
I am now going to reverse the tag and ask Oldman and Nancy and Flatman and Linae to share one song they love without shame. You know what I mean .... that one song that everybody else complains about that you love in spite of the mocking you may receive from others.
Mine is: Doing da BUTT - EU (Experience Unlimited)
Sounds crazy but I am not the only one who likes it! It has been rated as one of the top 200 most requested songs by Wedding DJs. I knew in my heart I wasn't the only one who loved this song!
Holly's Top Six Workout Songs:
Burning down the House - Talking Heads
Dirty - Christina Aguilera
Carry On Wayward Son - Kansas
Get Ur Freak On - Missy Elliot
Right Now - Van Halen
Smooth - Santana (with Rob Thomas)
I am now going to reverse the tag and ask Oldman and Nancy and Flatman and Linae to share one song they love without shame. You know what I mean .... that one song that everybody else complains about that you love in spite of the mocking you may receive from others.
Mine is: Doing da BUTT - EU (Experience Unlimited)
Sounds crazy but I am not the only one who likes it! It has been rated as one of the top 200 most requested songs by Wedding DJs. I knew in my heart I wasn't the only one who loved this song!
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Bunnies, Politicians and Fevers, Oh my...
Round up of the last 3 days ....
Friday afternoon was the first low-dose Interferon shot. 10 MIU (million units) and I was able to give myself the shot! Didn't feel much just a pinch and a sting and I was done! I need to get savvy on my Tylenol dosage on shot days though. I confess that I got caught up in the TV Land showing of the movie "Sybil" with Sally Fields and missed my second dose by an hour. The results were a 103 fever and some chills. I've already set my Timex Ironman watch's 3 alarms to remind me to take my Tylenol on time on Tuesday.
Saturday: Went for a run/walk of 3 miles using Coach Debi'splanned intervals of 1/1. I was able to keep up the intervals the entire time and average 13:30 minute/miles. On my run on the trails through North Arlington I saw 2 Bunny rabbits and immediately thought of Oldman who has tagged me to list my favorite songs. I am still composing my list ....
I also could have sworn that I saw Donald Rumsfeld on a bike on the trail. I thought through the logic as I tried to pay attention for the beeps that indicated that is was time to walk and/or run again. This man had nobody following him and I had a hard time imagining that the current Secretary of Defense could get away for a bike ride without at least one secret service agent at his side. Still the likeness was a little creepy. On the turnaround, the cyclist came back by me and I got another look and it was not Mr. Rumsfeld but I bet that guy gets a lot of "You know you look familiar" comments.
Sunday: LONG RUN!!! At least longer than anything I have done in over 8 weeks. I did 62 minutes on the Mt. Vernon Trail along the Potomac in Alexandria and covered just under 5 miles, probably around 4.75. I was consistently run/waling (1/1) 13:15 minute/miles and I had a negative split of over 6 seconds on the last mile with a 13:09! WOOOHOOO!!! Looks like the plan that Coach Debi has set up for me is working well! Onto 2/1 intervals this week and getting back in the pool and on the bike a little as well !
Living STRONG and looking in my IPOD Mini to see what my top 25 songs have been lately....
Friday afternoon was the first low-dose Interferon shot. 10 MIU (million units) and I was able to give myself the shot! Didn't feel much just a pinch and a sting and I was done! I need to get savvy on my Tylenol dosage on shot days though. I confess that I got caught up in the TV Land showing of the movie "Sybil" with Sally Fields and missed my second dose by an hour. The results were a 103 fever and some chills. I've already set my Timex Ironman watch's 3 alarms to remind me to take my Tylenol on time on Tuesday.
Saturday: Went for a run/walk of 3 miles using Coach Debi'splanned intervals of 1/1. I was able to keep up the intervals the entire time and average 13:30 minute/miles. On my run on the trails through North Arlington I saw 2 Bunny rabbits and immediately thought of Oldman who has tagged me to list my favorite songs. I am still composing my list ....
I also could have sworn that I saw Donald Rumsfeld on a bike on the trail. I thought through the logic as I tried to pay attention for the beeps that indicated that is was time to walk and/or run again. This man had nobody following him and I had a hard time imagining that the current Secretary of Defense could get away for a bike ride without at least one secret service agent at his side. Still the likeness was a little creepy. On the turnaround, the cyclist came back by me and I got another look and it was not Mr. Rumsfeld but I bet that guy gets a lot of "You know you look familiar" comments.
Sunday: LONG RUN!!! At least longer than anything I have done in over 8 weeks. I did 62 minutes on the Mt. Vernon Trail along the Potomac in Alexandria and covered just under 5 miles, probably around 4.75. I was consistently run/waling (1/1) 13:15 minute/miles and I had a negative split of over 6 seconds on the last mile with a 13:09! WOOOHOOO!!! Looks like the plan that Coach Debi has set up for me is working well! Onto 2/1 intervals this week and getting back in the pool and on the bike a little as well !
Living STRONG and looking in my IPOD Mini to see what my top 25 songs have been lately....
Friday, July 01, 2005
Time Trial ...
or as they say in France: Contre La Montre (Race of Truth).
Today was a chance to get in an early morning (5:45AM) run and see just where I am at. The trail near my home has mile markers and "rolls" down hill with a large hill to descend at the start and a small hill in the middle on the way out and as you would imagine, roll uphill on the way back. So I knew my first mile would be fast and my second mile would be pathetic.
I figured that if I averaged those 2 splits, I might get a moderate "pace" indicator to start with.
-----
Holly's 40 Minute Workout (2.5 miles) - 3/1 Run/Walk Intervals
-----
Walked 5 minutes
Mile 1 – 12:22 (good effort – kind of TT to see what I had)
Mile 2 – 15.08 (I had to walk a little more between run intervals ...)
Cool down – 6 minute walk
-----
My guess is that if I can settle into a grhythmthum, right now I could probably run/walk 13:30 miles. That's not a bad goal for the Army 10 Miler and the Marine Corps. Of course I have to start running more than 2 miles .... but that's just a minor detail really .... HE HE HE
LE TOUR DE FRANCE - BABY!
You can follow it on OLN or you can follow it online at The Paceline Lance Armstrong's Official Fan Website.
It's going to be a great Tour no matter the outcome ... and although I won't actually be there in person to watch is this year, you can bet I will be GLUED to the TIVO for 2 hours every day!
GO LANCE!!!!!
Today was a chance to get in an early morning (5:45AM) run and see just where I am at. The trail near my home has mile markers and "rolls" down hill with a large hill to descend at the start and a small hill in the middle on the way out and as you would imagine, roll uphill on the way back. So I knew my first mile would be fast and my second mile would be pathetic.
I figured that if I averaged those 2 splits, I might get a moderate "pace" indicator to start with.
-----
Holly's 40 Minute Workout (2.5 miles) - 3/1 Run/Walk Intervals
-----
Walked 5 minutes
Mile 1 – 12:22 (good effort – kind of TT to see what I had)
Mile 2 – 15.08 (I had to walk a little more between run intervals ...)
Cool down – 6 minute walk
-----
My guess is that if I can settle into a grhythmthum, right now I could probably run/walk 13:30 miles. That's not a bad goal for the Army 10 Miler and the Marine Corps. Of course I have to start running more than 2 miles .... but that's just a minor detail really .... HE HE HE
LE TOUR DE FRANCE - BABY!
You can follow it on OLN or you can follow it online at The Paceline Lance Armstrong's Official Fan Website.
It's going to be a great Tour no matter the outcome ... and although I won't actually be there in person to watch is this year, you can bet I will be GLUED to the TIVO for 2 hours every day!
GO LANCE!!!!!
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Flattery for Flatman
Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.
Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, volume I, no. 183
(1780 - 1832)
- - - -
Flatman digs Lance and I dig Lance!
Flatman is a cool triathlete in a HOT state, hotter than Mississippi!
Hopefully Flatman will forgive my laziness since I copied his source code to add the Triathlon Alliance Blog list he slaved over. Thank you Flatman!
Now go read his blog! And the rest of them too!
- - - -
Nancy had a great question to ponder today regarding embarrassing triathlon moments. For what it is worth, I would much rather finish DEAD F____ LAST in any race before I would want to loose a peice of race clothing.
Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, volume I, no. 183
(1780 - 1832)
- - - -
Flatman digs Lance and I dig Lance!
Flatman is a cool triathlete in a HOT state, hotter than Mississippi!
Hopefully Flatman will forgive my laziness since I copied his source code to add the Triathlon Alliance Blog list he slaved over. Thank you Flatman!
Now go read his blog! And the rest of them too!
- - - -
Nancy had a great question to ponder today regarding embarrassing triathlon moments. For what it is worth, I would much rather finish DEAD F____ LAST in any race before I would want to loose a peice of race clothing.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Choices ...
Every moment we are faced with multiple choices and it never ceases to amaze me when somebody chooses to be miserable or look at the dark side of things. I mean the expression might seem cliche but "ATTITUDE really is everything" and a change in attitude can change the entire course of your life.
I have met many people who seem to think that "suffering" is the only choice they have. They have gone through their entire adult lives being a victim and wonder why they "can't get a break". They are the first to complain and they are the first to tell you how much worse their lives are than yours. Sometimes I wonder what might happen if I simply said, "Wow, I'm sorry you have gotten so many tough breaks but what are you doing now?"
I believe we are all entitled feel whatever we want to feel. I believe on some levels you must "suffer" to grasp the reality of your current situation. Whatever the circumstance: illness, cancer, work, a marathon, insert your personal situation here __________.
I also believe the true test of a person's ability to survive and thrive comes when you accept and acknowledge that you are suffering and then you make the CHOICE to do something about it. That my friends is ATTITUDE ....
and frankly "ATTITUDE is everything!"
____________________________________________________________
WHAT'S HOT RIGHT NOW HOLLY?: Looks like surgery #3 of the year is going to be Jim's to tackle. I'm just a cheerleader this time!! GO JIM GO!! Seems that his aching back pain is a bulging disc in his lower lumbar region and he has an inguinal hernia that will need surgery in the next few weeks. Oh the joys of "general anesthesia" !!
Funniest thing though, his DR. recommended my surgeon Dr. Wagner !! We got a good laugh out of that and considered it some good karma! Dr. Wagner ROCKS!
So at this point, I can say that Jim has pulled ahead of me in the "2005 Holly-Jim MEDI-athalon" we have going. Interferon shots ain't got nothing on back pain and hernias. Heck, I just feel like I have a bad cold.
At this point we have decided that we are going to try to get all our major medical issues done this year. We figure it means that 2007 will be our year of the "Uber-athletes" and the unltimate in Personal Records and a great racing season.
Some days it is best just to smile and make light of it....Your happier that way.
Living STRONG in VA where Attitude is everything
I have met many people who seem to think that "suffering" is the only choice they have. They have gone through their entire adult lives being a victim and wonder why they "can't get a break". They are the first to complain and they are the first to tell you how much worse their lives are than yours. Sometimes I wonder what might happen if I simply said, "Wow, I'm sorry you have gotten so many tough breaks but what are you doing now?"
I believe we are all entitled feel whatever we want to feel. I believe on some levels you must "suffer" to grasp the reality of your current situation. Whatever the circumstance: illness, cancer, work, a marathon, insert your personal situation here __________.
I also believe the true test of a person's ability to survive and thrive comes when you accept and acknowledge that you are suffering and then you make the CHOICE to do something about it. That my friends is ATTITUDE ....
and frankly "ATTITUDE is everything!"
____________________________________________________________
WHAT'S HOT RIGHT NOW HOLLY?: Looks like surgery #3 of the year is going to be Jim's to tackle. I'm just a cheerleader this time!! GO JIM GO!! Seems that his aching back pain is a bulging disc in his lower lumbar region and he has an inguinal hernia that will need surgery in the next few weeks. Oh the joys of "general anesthesia" !!
Funniest thing though, his DR. recommended my surgeon Dr. Wagner !! We got a good laugh out of that and considered it some good karma! Dr. Wagner ROCKS!
So at this point, I can say that Jim has pulled ahead of me in the "2005 Holly-Jim MEDI-athalon" we have going. Interferon shots ain't got nothing on back pain and hernias. Heck, I just feel like I have a bad cold.
At this point we have decided that we are going to try to get all our major medical issues done this year. We figure it means that 2007 will be our year of the "Uber-athletes" and the unltimate in Personal Records and a great racing season.
Some days it is best just to smile and make light of it....Your happier that way.
Living STRONG in VA where Attitude is everything
Monday, June 27, 2005
A run ::or something like it::
Obligatory Training Note:
I went out to run, to see just where I stand in terms of the next 18 weeks. As I was suspecting, I have some work to do!
The goal was 20-30 minutes of 3/1 intervals with the flexibility of walking when I needed too - acknowledging that I have not run in 8 weeks.
The workout: 39 minutes total - about 10 minutes of actual running
4 minute warm up walk
3 reps of 3/1 run/walk intervals
4 minute walk
1 reps of 1.5/2.5 run/walk intervals (I tried to resume ... but the body said "done")
15 minutes of walking (uphill) and recovery
Estimated mileage - 2 miles but not really sure...
Tomorrow I will head to the trail where there are mile markers and time a mile run using the 3/1 intervals to get an idea of what kind of pace I am working with. Then Coach Debi can help me establish a training plan. I'm less concerned with speed than I am with rebuilding my endurance and managing a mile pace that will bring me to the 14th Street Bridge before the SAG bus on October 31st.
I may not be fast but I am determined.
Sounds like "Living STRONG" to me!
I went out to run, to see just where I stand in terms of the next 18 weeks. As I was suspecting, I have some work to do!
The goal was 20-30 minutes of 3/1 intervals with the flexibility of walking when I needed too - acknowledging that I have not run in 8 weeks.
The workout: 39 minutes total - about 10 minutes of actual running
4 minute warm up walk
3 reps of 3/1 run/walk intervals
4 minute walk
1 reps of 1.5/2.5 run/walk intervals (I tried to resume ... but the body said "done")
15 minutes of walking (uphill) and recovery
Estimated mileage - 2 miles but not really sure...
Tomorrow I will head to the trail where there are mile markers and time a mile run using the 3/1 intervals to get an idea of what kind of pace I am working with. Then Coach Debi can help me establish a training plan. I'm less concerned with speed than I am with rebuilding my endurance and managing a mile pace that will bring me to the 14th Street Bridge before the SAG bus on October 31st.
I may not be fast but I am determined.
Sounds like "Living STRONG" to me!
20 Miles - A good starting point
Yesterday I got back on the bike! Jim and I did our moderately hilly Fort Hunt route at a slow pace for a total of 20 miles. Since Jim pulled his back on vacation lifting a computer monitor and my bike riding as been less than 7 miles in the last month, we thought that we did just fine.
Personally, I am thrilled with the fact that I was able to ride 20 miles yesterday and don't have much muscle soreness today. I did take a heck of a nap yesterday afternoon, as did Jim. We are nappers at heart, truth be told, so there is not much surprise that we napped after what other endurance junkies would consider a short ride. Still any ride is better than not riding at all!
Today's plan is to hit the road for a short run of 20-30 minutes with run/walk intervals of 3/1. This gives me a chance to see just how much fitness I have for running and start fresh on my Army 10 miler/Marine Corps Marathon races in 18 weeks. I'd also like to get in the pool some time this week and see how my swimming stroke goes. My left arm needs some help getting strength back and I think the swimming will do that very well. Besides, I actually miss the pool!
My other stop today will be to my general doc, Dr. Bui, to determine the cause of all these sinus headaches and earaches of the last 2 weeks. I suspect that I may have my first "sinus infection" and a round of antibiotics may be in order.
In other news, I am going to attempt to return to work this week, on Thursday to be specfic. The plan is to start back at a 5 hour work day for the first week or two while I adjust to the low-dose shots and how I feel the morning after. I am looking forward to going back to work. A life of leisure doesn't suit me unless I can use the free time to enjoy my endurance hobbies to their fulllest, so rather than short walks and lots of reading, I would much rather be in the office doing graphic design work and making money to register for races and buy new triathlon gear.
6 days til Le Tour!! Le Tour Baby!
Personally, I am thrilled with the fact that I was able to ride 20 miles yesterday and don't have much muscle soreness today. I did take a heck of a nap yesterday afternoon, as did Jim. We are nappers at heart, truth be told, so there is not much surprise that we napped after what other endurance junkies would consider a short ride. Still any ride is better than not riding at all!
Today's plan is to hit the road for a short run of 20-30 minutes with run/walk intervals of 3/1. This gives me a chance to see just how much fitness I have for running and start fresh on my Army 10 miler/Marine Corps Marathon races in 18 weeks. I'd also like to get in the pool some time this week and see how my swimming stroke goes. My left arm needs some help getting strength back and I think the swimming will do that very well. Besides, I actually miss the pool!
My other stop today will be to my general doc, Dr. Bui, to determine the cause of all these sinus headaches and earaches of the last 2 weeks. I suspect that I may have my first "sinus infection" and a round of antibiotics may be in order.
In other news, I am going to attempt to return to work this week, on Thursday to be specfic. The plan is to start back at a 5 hour work day for the first week or two while I adjust to the low-dose shots and how I feel the morning after. I am looking forward to going back to work. A life of leisure doesn't suit me unless I can use the free time to enjoy my endurance hobbies to their fulllest, so rather than short walks and lots of reading, I would much rather be in the office doing graphic design work and making money to register for races and buy new triathlon gear.
6 days til Le Tour!! Le Tour Baby!
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Mississippi Vacation 2005 - Some Images
Here are a few pictures from our trip to Mississippi & Memphis. Enjoy!
Our lovely hosts on the family farm, Gloria & Jimmie
Kudzoo in Sardis, MS (and a old ford truck)
Jim at Ole Miss in front of a building with his surname.
The trolley of Memphis!
Dinner on Beale Street!
Our lovely hosts on the family farm, Gloria & Jimmie
Kudzoo in Sardis, MS (and a old ford truck)
Jim at Ole Miss in front of a building with his surname.
The trolley of Memphis!
Dinner on Beale Street!
Shiny Happy People are we!
The famous Peabody ducks
(well the lead male duck...)
Obligitory "Graceland" gates picture.
The famous Peabody ducks
(well the lead male duck...)
Obligitory "Graceland" gates picture.
We didn't have any interest in going inside
but we knew we couldn't leave Memphis
and not have at least driven by Graceland.
DON'T TELL THE PEABODY
DON'T TELL THE PEABODY
but we kidnapped a duck!
The tree of shame at Deal's Gap in North Carolina.
The tree of shame at Deal's Gap in North Carolina.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
A fat girl's nightmare - Everything tastes good!
At one point in my life I weighed 300 pounds. I worked hard to lose that weight. I didn't go for surgery or a radical change. I just cut the calories and increased my activity levels and slowly over about 2 years, the weight came off. I am still 30 pounds from what I consider my "goal" weight of 155 but I finally learned about a year ago that I had to let that goal go and live my life. I was too wrapped up on that magic number and losing focus on being healthy and happy.
So my life has moved forward. My goals over the last 5 years have shifted from looking good in a bikini to walking 10 miles to riding my bike 100 miles to running a Marathon and then doing a 1/2 Ironman Triathlon. The ultimate goal is still a full IRONMAN distance triathlon (2.5 mile SWIM/112 mile BIKE/26.2 mile RUN). I will be an IRONMAN ... but i digress from the topic at hand ...
Food. I may have lost 120+ pounds but I still love food. I still indulge in the occassional ice cream and chocolate and I still crave my mom's roasted chicken with all the fixings. Heck, being a triathlete has worked in my favor as a former fat girl. HOW? Well a PB&J sandwhich and a bannana is a great breakfast choice before a long ride or run. And after a 60+ mile bike or a 14+ mile training run, you can have an extra roll with dinner and not be too concerned about excess calories. Don't get me wrong, I eat healthy most of the time now and I think about my choices but as any other fellow endurance junkies will tell you, Extra Food is a nice fringe benefit for the hours of cardio. The firm legs are nice too!
So with any kind of chemo, one of the first sets of healthy cells to go are your tastebuds and stomach cell's. They are some of the most rapidly dividing cells in your body (besides your hair and skin). So if you are lucky enough you might not have the mouth sores that some chemos cause but you will probably experience some change in taste.
My experience on Interferon is that everything tastes wrong. Especially anything that is slightly salty or very sweet. Over the month of high dose, I had lost my taste of everything that I enjoyed. Chocolate - blah, peanutbutter - double blah - any kind of cheese or meat - forget it! Bland is the way to go. I still have my dairy and have found comfort in fresh fruit, plain chicken and yougurt and bagels and juice. Until 1 week ago that is ....
After a week off of Interferon, my taste returned to normal and all bets have been off. In part because I know in a week, everything will taste bad again for the next 11 months. I have not been eating in massive amounts but I sure have induldge in treats that I usually save for long milage days. The biggest problem? I haven't been doing the long miles! The calories have no where to go. Hmm..let me take that back, lately they seem to be going straight to my waist.
I feel a little out of control and I hate that feeling. I guess that means it is time to sit down and plan a little workout/nutrition plan for the first few weeks of Interferon shots. No time like the present to start.
Vacation pictures coming tomorrow!
Living STRONG but hitting the Hershey's a little hard .....
So my life has moved forward. My goals over the last 5 years have shifted from looking good in a bikini to walking 10 miles to riding my bike 100 miles to running a Marathon and then doing a 1/2 Ironman Triathlon. The ultimate goal is still a full IRONMAN distance triathlon (2.5 mile SWIM/112 mile BIKE/26.2 mile RUN). I will be an IRONMAN ... but i digress from the topic at hand ...
Food. I may have lost 120+ pounds but I still love food. I still indulge in the occassional ice cream and chocolate and I still crave my mom's roasted chicken with all the fixings. Heck, being a triathlete has worked in my favor as a former fat girl. HOW? Well a PB&J sandwhich and a bannana is a great breakfast choice before a long ride or run. And after a 60+ mile bike or a 14+ mile training run, you can have an extra roll with dinner and not be too concerned about excess calories. Don't get me wrong, I eat healthy most of the time now and I think about my choices but as any other fellow endurance junkies will tell you, Extra Food is a nice fringe benefit for the hours of cardio. The firm legs are nice too!
So with any kind of chemo, one of the first sets of healthy cells to go are your tastebuds and stomach cell's. They are some of the most rapidly dividing cells in your body (besides your hair and skin). So if you are lucky enough you might not have the mouth sores that some chemos cause but you will probably experience some change in taste.
My experience on Interferon is that everything tastes wrong. Especially anything that is slightly salty or very sweet. Over the month of high dose, I had lost my taste of everything that I enjoyed. Chocolate - blah, peanutbutter - double blah - any kind of cheese or meat - forget it! Bland is the way to go. I still have my dairy and have found comfort in fresh fruit, plain chicken and yougurt and bagels and juice. Until 1 week ago that is ....
After a week off of Interferon, my taste returned to normal and all bets have been off. In part because I know in a week, everything will taste bad again for the next 11 months. I have not been eating in massive amounts but I sure have induldge in treats that I usually save for long milage days. The biggest problem? I haven't been doing the long miles! The calories have no where to go. Hmm..let me take that back, lately they seem to be going straight to my waist.
I feel a little out of control and I hate that feeling. I guess that means it is time to sit down and plan a little workout/nutrition plan for the first few weeks of Interferon shots. No time like the present to start.
Vacation pictures coming tomorrow!
Living STRONG but hitting the Hershey's a little hard .....
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
On the road again ..
We are back in Knoxville, TN - planning to arrive home tonight. I guess I am ready to be home again. Tennesee has been the sight of some fierce sinus headaches. Prior to the interferon therapy, headaches were very rare for me and now it seems I am sensitive to even the slightest atmospheric changes.
Hmph ... CONFESSION: I am not enjoying the achey ears, eyeball sockets and nasal sinuses. I don't remember reading any of that as "side effects" but since everybody's reactions are individual... I guess this is mine.
For the most part, I am ready to be home and to start to establish a more normal routine again. I realized this morning that I have 12 & 16 weeks to the Army 10 Miler and the Marine Corps Marathon. It is time to get back to the office, hit the pool running (literally) and to start hitting the trail to see what pace my body will accept, probably some "Galloway" type of run/walk mix - which is fine because many folks have successfully crossed the finish line that way!
Jim and I are going to stop and "tame the dragon" on our way home. We are going to drive the infamous "Deal's Gap" - a road with 318 turns in 11 miles. Since it is our first trip with the BMW on the "Dragon's tail" we are not going to go fast (Thank Gosh!) but slowly enjoy the route. At least Jim will, I will probably have my eyes closed about 50% of the time!
Living STRONG and heading home!
Hmph ... CONFESSION: I am not enjoying the achey ears, eyeball sockets and nasal sinuses. I don't remember reading any of that as "side effects" but since everybody's reactions are individual... I guess this is mine.
For the most part, I am ready to be home and to start to establish a more normal routine again. I realized this morning that I have 12 & 16 weeks to the Army 10 Miler and the Marine Corps Marathon. It is time to get back to the office, hit the pool running (literally) and to start hitting the trail to see what pace my body will accept, probably some "Galloway" type of run/walk mix - which is fine because many folks have successfully crossed the finish line that way!
Jim and I are going to stop and "tame the dragon" on our way home. We are going to drive the infamous "Deal's Gap" - a road with 318 turns in 11 miles. Since it is our first trip with the BMW on the "Dragon's tail" we are not going to go fast (Thank Gosh!) but slowly enjoy the route. At least Jim will, I will probably have my eyes closed about 50% of the time!
Living STRONG and heading home!
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Memphis, Fried Pickles and Kudzoo
Well Jim and I are in Memphis, TN - former home of Elvis, if you are an Elvis fan. We are not but we are looking forward to a few days of sight seeing anyways. I am looking forward to seeing the "Peabody Hotel" ducks!! More on that after I see them.
Our last few days in Mississippi were wonderful. We had a traditional fried catfish meal and I got my "fried" dill pickles and ranch dressing - YUM! We also got home cooked meals all week from Jim's Mom and I think in spite of walking 2 miles every morning, we found a few pounds. No worries, it's vacation weight, we will loose it!! On vacations, Dessert has no calories!!
Yesterday we drove from Jackson, MS to Batesville, MS and Sardis Dam. I picked up my $45.00 Dragonfly triathlon t-shirt and got some great free stuff. A waterbottle, a free copy of "Triathlete" magazine, a tube of IRONMAN muscle creme (aka Ben-Gay) and a tub of foot cream. I guess they are big on the feet in Sardis, MS.
Jim and I went to the race this morning and while I was depressed for about 10 minutes not to be racing on what was a relatively mild morning by the time the race started; once I started cheering for the racer's coming out of the water, I was as happy as could be. I love cheering people on and most people will smile and thank you. Of course there are those triathletes who will look at you like you are an ass, I call them the "angry racers". You know the ones, who look at you as if to say "Shut up, I am DOING this, why don't you come out here and do it." To those people I want to yell, "I would if I could, DAMNIT! But I can't!!" but they wouldn't care, they are focused on their race and racing angry motivates them. That is fine, I say whatever gets you across the finish line. Just don't quit unless your in pain, broke your equipment or are in danger of dying.
I stayed down there and cheered people on until the last swimmer came out of the water. She was an "Athena", I could tell by the "A" on her calf and the body type. That is the race class that I planned to compete in and try to win this year. I cheered loudly for her and told her she looked great! She thanked me and smiled and continued onto her bike. That was not such a bad way to spend my morning after all. I will race again and we plan to come back to Sardis and do this next year if the schedule allows. So this year was a "scouting trip."
We then drove up to Oxford and visited the University of Mississippi, also known as "Ole Miss", Jim's alma-mater. "HOTTY TODDY - FLIM FLAM - BIM BAM - OLE MISS, BY DAMN." It was a beautiful campus and we came across a biology building with Jim's surname on it. Considering that both Jim, his father and his grandfather went to Ole Miss, we were curious. We think his Dad may be holding out on us with the story's... Hehehe.
All along the way to Memphis, we saw LOADS of Kudzoo. It is this plant that covers EVERYTHING it can get to and makes the trees and ground look like a "freakish" version of Disney topiarys. I swear that some of the Kudzoo trees that I saw looked like giraffes and one looked like a two-headed dog. Hmmm... perhaps too much time in hot car?
Living STRONG in Memphis .... near Elvis (who has left the building)
Our last few days in Mississippi were wonderful. We had a traditional fried catfish meal and I got my "fried" dill pickles and ranch dressing - YUM! We also got home cooked meals all week from Jim's Mom and I think in spite of walking 2 miles every morning, we found a few pounds. No worries, it's vacation weight, we will loose it!! On vacations, Dessert has no calories!!
Yesterday we drove from Jackson, MS to Batesville, MS and Sardis Dam. I picked up my $45.00 Dragonfly triathlon t-shirt and got some great free stuff. A waterbottle, a free copy of "Triathlete" magazine, a tube of IRONMAN muscle creme (aka Ben-Gay) and a tub of foot cream. I guess they are big on the feet in Sardis, MS.
Jim and I went to the race this morning and while I was depressed for about 10 minutes not to be racing on what was a relatively mild morning by the time the race started; once I started cheering for the racer's coming out of the water, I was as happy as could be. I love cheering people on and most people will smile and thank you. Of course there are those triathletes who will look at you like you are an ass, I call them the "angry racers". You know the ones, who look at you as if to say "Shut up, I am DOING this, why don't you come out here and do it." To those people I want to yell, "I would if I could, DAMNIT! But I can't!!" but they wouldn't care, they are focused on their race and racing angry motivates them. That is fine, I say whatever gets you across the finish line. Just don't quit unless your in pain, broke your equipment or are in danger of dying.
I stayed down there and cheered people on until the last swimmer came out of the water. She was an "Athena", I could tell by the "A" on her calf and the body type. That is the race class that I planned to compete in and try to win this year. I cheered loudly for her and told her she looked great! She thanked me and smiled and continued onto her bike. That was not such a bad way to spend my morning after all. I will race again and we plan to come back to Sardis and do this next year if the schedule allows. So this year was a "scouting trip."
We then drove up to Oxford and visited the University of Mississippi, also known as "Ole Miss", Jim's alma-mater. "HOTTY TODDY - FLIM FLAM - BIM BAM - OLE MISS, BY DAMN." It was a beautiful campus and we came across a biology building with Jim's surname on it. Considering that both Jim, his father and his grandfather went to Ole Miss, we were curious. We think his Dad may be holding out on us with the story's... Hehehe.
All along the way to Memphis, we saw LOADS of Kudzoo. It is this plant that covers EVERYTHING it can get to and makes the trees and ground look like a "freakish" version of Disney topiarys. I swear that some of the Kudzoo trees that I saw looked like giraffes and one looked like a two-headed dog. Hmmm... perhaps too much time in hot car?
Living STRONG in Memphis .... near Elvis (who has left the building)
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
HOT HOT HOT
It is HOT in Mississippi.
Jim and I had an uneventful drive south over the weekend and we have been enjoying his Mother's wonderful home cooked meals, his Dad's great stories and the beauty of the family farm. Other than watching out for fire ant beds, our walks through the fields to check out the frogs, turtles and dragonflies have been fun.
Still I have to say: It is HOT down here! A good "sweat out the Interferon" kind of HOT. The first 4 days have been okay. I feel better today than I have so far the entire trip. My sinuses are a little more sensative than I am accustomed but last night I actually had to put some salt and pepper on my food, which means my tastebuds are coming back to normal! YEAH!
Rest and Relaxation is just what the Dr. ordered and I am doing my best to follow that Rx. I even managed to finish a book! That is the first time in 4 weeks!
Did I mention it was HOT down south? I am such a whiny YANKEE! Hehehe
Jim and I had an uneventful drive south over the weekend and we have been enjoying his Mother's wonderful home cooked meals, his Dad's great stories and the beauty of the family farm. Other than watching out for fire ant beds, our walks through the fields to check out the frogs, turtles and dragonflies have been fun.
Still I have to say: It is HOT down here! A good "sweat out the Interferon" kind of HOT. The first 4 days have been okay. I feel better today than I have so far the entire trip. My sinuses are a little more sensative than I am accustomed but last night I actually had to put some salt and pepper on my food, which means my tastebuds are coming back to normal! YEAH!
Rest and Relaxation is just what the Dr. ordered and I am doing my best to follow that Rx. I even managed to finish a book! That is the first time in 4 weeks!
Did I mention it was HOT down south? I am such a whiny YANKEE! Hehehe
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Just a quick note - I'm Done!
I am done with High-Dose Interferon Chemotherapy!!!!!!
Yesterday was rather anti-climatic and that is just fine with me. The symptoms of the last 4 days never got any worse and last night I slept very well. Something strangely relaxing about knowing that you won't have another 3-hour infusion on Monday morning.
There is more I want to say but for the moment it will have to wait since Jim is packing the BMW as I type. We are off to Jackson, Mississippi for some much needed Rest & Relaxation! I'll be checking in throught the trip, with pictures too!
Go out and enjoy your weekend!! I know that I will!
Living STRONG and ready to RELAX!
Yesterday was rather anti-climatic and that is just fine with me. The symptoms of the last 4 days never got any worse and last night I slept very well. Something strangely relaxing about knowing that you won't have another 3-hour infusion on Monday morning.
There is more I want to say but for the moment it will have to wait since Jim is packing the BMW as I type. We are off to Jackson, Mississippi for some much needed Rest & Relaxation! I'll be checking in throught the trip, with pictures too!
Go out and enjoy your weekend!! I know that I will!
Living STRONG and ready to RELAX!
Friday, June 10, 2005
Not soon enough ...
TILT!!
The last treatment of this high-dose cycle can't come soon enough. Last night the collective unit that makes up ME, physically, reached her limits. I've been in a fog for about 48 hours now, I'm clumsy, my limbs feel week, my digestive system doesn't know what to do and sleep is fitful. I don't even have the words for it all but it feels awful, kids.
Yesterday I knew my white blood cell count would be low. Now that I know what it "feels" like, I was expecting it. Still my body knows how to throw me for a loop by coming to a completely new low. Two days until my treatment is over and my blood counts fell all that way across the board for the first time. ALL OF THEM....
Man was I pissed! Not sad, but angry. Two days, damnit!! Just two treatments, we can do this! Please don't send me HOME!
The compromise Dr. Butler and I came to: 10 MIU for Thursday and Friday. That was a compromise that I was willing to take. Give me something, anything to finish up this cycle ....
Today, right now, I don't know how I am going to handle 10 MIU units more. Tonight is going to suck but at least at 5PM today, the "high-dose" cycle will be over.
----
By the numbers: Holly's Blood Counts (Week 4, Intron-A)
NORMAL RANGE / Holly on MONDAY / Holly on THURDAY
Red Blood Cells
4.0 - 6.20 / 4.25 / 3.68
Hemoglobin
11.0 - 18.0 / 12.5 / 10.8
White Blood Cells
4.0 - 11.0 / 4.3 / 2.1
Nuetrophils
1.2 - 6.8 / 1.92 / 0.55
-----
I CAN DO ANYTHING FOR ONE MORE DAY!
The last treatment of this high-dose cycle can't come soon enough. Last night the collective unit that makes up ME, physically, reached her limits. I've been in a fog for about 48 hours now, I'm clumsy, my limbs feel week, my digestive system doesn't know what to do and sleep is fitful. I don't even have the words for it all but it feels awful, kids.
Yesterday I knew my white blood cell count would be low. Now that I know what it "feels" like, I was expecting it. Still my body knows how to throw me for a loop by coming to a completely new low. Two days until my treatment is over and my blood counts fell all that way across the board for the first time. ALL OF THEM....
Man was I pissed! Not sad, but angry. Two days, damnit!! Just two treatments, we can do this! Please don't send me HOME!
The compromise Dr. Butler and I came to: 10 MIU for Thursday and Friday. That was a compromise that I was willing to take. Give me something, anything to finish up this cycle ....
Today, right now, I don't know how I am going to handle 10 MIU units more. Tonight is going to suck but at least at 5PM today, the "high-dose" cycle will be over.
----
By the numbers: Holly's Blood Counts (Week 4, Intron-A)
NORMAL RANGE / Holly on MONDAY / Holly on THURDAY
Red Blood Cells
4.0 - 6.20 / 4.25 / 3.68
Hemoglobin
11.0 - 18.0 / 12.5 / 10.8
White Blood Cells
4.0 - 11.0 / 4.3 / 2.1
Nuetrophils
1.2 - 6.8 / 1.92 / 0.55
-----
I CAN DO ANYTHING FOR ONE MORE DAY!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
3 down, only 2 to go ...
This week has gone well so far, I have had 3 days of 40 MIU and with only 2 treatments left on the high-dose regiment, I am hoping my white blood cells stay high enough to make the last 2 days "maximum" days. It has been my experience that all feels well until late in the evening of day 3 of high dose cycle and then the real "funkyness" begins to settle in. Now I am obliged to simply wait and see what happens.
Go White Blood Cells Go!
---
On Monday, my friend Keri came with me for the first 1/2 of my Chemo treatment. It was wonderful to see her and we caught up on many things. Most of all, I got to hear all about her 1st Triathlon, which she completed just a little under a month ago. I am very happy to report that she has definately been bit by the "Triathlon" bug! She is already looking for her next race!
Go Kerry Go!
In other Triathlon news, my friend Nancy is getting ready to do her first 1/2 Ironman Distance race this weekend at EagleMan. Send her all the GOOD VIBES that you can!
Go Nancy Go!!!
---
Work Outs this week (thus far):
MON: Day Off - TUES: 2 miles walking - WED: 2 miles walking
---
I got two beautiful bouquets of flowers today. One from a friend from work (THANKS Don!) and one from my Mom & Dad. I feel very blessed to have so many people who love me and care about me.
Living STRONG and bringing in the final days of "high-dose" treatment, one day at a time.
Go White Blood Cells Go!
---
On Monday, my friend Keri came with me for the first 1/2 of my Chemo treatment. It was wonderful to see her and we caught up on many things. Most of all, I got to hear all about her 1st Triathlon, which she completed just a little under a month ago. I am very happy to report that she has definately been bit by the "Triathlon" bug! She is already looking for her next race!
Go Kerry Go!
In other Triathlon news, my friend Nancy is getting ready to do her first 1/2 Ironman Distance race this weekend at EagleMan. Send her all the GOOD VIBES that you can!
Go Nancy Go!!!
---
Work Outs this week (thus far):
MON: Day Off - TUES: 2 miles walking - WED: 2 miles walking
---
I got two beautiful bouquets of flowers today. One from a friend from work (THANKS Don!) and one from my Mom & Dad. I feel very blessed to have so many people who love me and care about me.
Living STRONG and bringing in the final days of "high-dose" treatment, one day at a time.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Forever moving forward...
I'm a goal oriented kind of girl, it's what moves me forward. This big goal for this year is, of course, 1.) Eliminate Melanoma but I need my endurance fixes ... I'm a junky when it comes to endorphins, A JUNKY, I tell ya!
So this should come as little surprise:
************************* REGISTRATION FOR ***************************
Army Ten-Miler
************************ PAYMENT INFORMATION *************************
Payment Date: 2005-06-06 07:28:02.15
Payment Total: $37.25
Confirmation Number: 10XXX38-06XXXXXXX54
HE HE HE HE HE - Ooops ... Coach Debi, I singed up for a little training run before the Marine Corps Marathon....
Come on along, all the cool kids are doing it... My sister Heather and I are!!
--
The weekend was a little rough. I was sick to my stomach alot but I was able to walk 2 miles on Saturday and 1 mile on Sunday. Jim and I went and saw the movie "Madagascar" .. I recommend it!
So this should come as little surprise:
************************* REGISTRATION FOR ***************************
Army Ten-Miler
************************ PAYMENT INFORMATION *************************
Payment Date: 2005-06-06 07:28:02.15
Payment Total: $37.25
Confirmation Number: 10XXX38-06XXXXXXX54
HE HE HE HE HE - Ooops ... Coach Debi, I singed up for a little training run before the Marine Corps Marathon....
Come on along, all the cool kids are doing it... My sister Heather and I are!!
--
The weekend was a little rough. I was sick to my stomach alot but I was able to walk 2 miles on Saturday and 1 mile on Sunday. Jim and I went and saw the movie "Madagascar" .. I recommend it!
Saturday, June 04, 2005
High-Dose Interferon 101 - More to the story
So on Friday I went into treatment with LOW EXPECTATIONS. I was feeling pretty funky in general and Tess, my oncology nurse, had prepped me for the possibility that I might not get treatment at all that day.
Jim, concerned with my well being and the amount of time it seem to be taking me to simply get to the "1/2 way point" in treatments, surprised me by taking the afternoon off and coming with me for treatment. He wanted to be with me when I saw Dr. Butler, to hold my hand, be my muscle and make sure we got some answers.
Dr. Butler came to see me as soon as I sat into my "recliner de jour", shook both our hands and asked me if I had "had enough yet?" I told him I was doing the best I could but I needed to know "How far away from being done am I, REALLY?"
You could have knocked Jim and I over with a feather when we got Dr. Butler's reply:
ONE WEEK!!
You see, it seems that both Jim and I misunderstood the way this whole "high-dose treatment" part works. Well actually, I don't think Dr. Butler explained it as well as he could have and Jim and I were stuck on the number 20. So here is how it works, in a nutshell:
For a 4 weeks period, Dr. Butler planned to "treat" me with as much Interferon as my body is able to handle per treatment based on my blood work and metabolic functions. The MAX dose on any day being 40 MIU (million units). When my liver reacted, he backed off (as he should) and then hit me with two days of low dose to make sure that my liver counts would come back to normal. Then he hit me hard again this week with 40 MIU for 3 days until my white blood cells dropped indicating that my body was at max capacity again. So he ordered 20 MIU for Friday.
Now on Monday, as long as my white blood cells are back to normal ranges, I will go back to 40 MIU for as long as my body can hang but NO MATTER WHAT, I will be DONE with High-Dose treatment on FRIDAY, JUNE 10th !!!!
You couldn't peel the smile off my face or Jim's for that matter. I told Dr. Butler that he should go for the big guns this week and I'll try to hang in there for the full 5 days at 40 MIU. KILL THAT MELANOMA!!!
I can do anything for 5 more days.
Then I get to go to Mississippi for a week with my hot cyclist boyfriend (Jim, of course) for some R&R before I start the next 48 weeks of low-dose treatment.
I can do ANYTHING for 5 more days .... especially if it means that I get a break!!
Oh and my liver, she is doing very well thank you! This week in spite of 3 days of high-dose, I dropped another 20 points back into the "normal" range. It seems that it was a case of temporary distress and now that the Interferon levels are not going away, my liver has adjusted to the extra work load. That's a good liver!!!
:) I'm going outside for a walk .... Got to work off some of this weeks Interferon and get ready for the final week!!!
I'm living STRONG and looking forward to a recovery break in ONE WEEK!
Jim, concerned with my well being and the amount of time it seem to be taking me to simply get to the "1/2 way point" in treatments, surprised me by taking the afternoon off and coming with me for treatment. He wanted to be with me when I saw Dr. Butler, to hold my hand, be my muscle and make sure we got some answers.
Dr. Butler came to see me as soon as I sat into my "recliner de jour", shook both our hands and asked me if I had "had enough yet?" I told him I was doing the best I could but I needed to know "How far away from being done am I, REALLY?"
You could have knocked Jim and I over with a feather when we got Dr. Butler's reply:
ONE WEEK!!
You see, it seems that both Jim and I misunderstood the way this whole "high-dose treatment" part works. Well actually, I don't think Dr. Butler explained it as well as he could have and Jim and I were stuck on the number 20. So here is how it works, in a nutshell:
For a 4 weeks period, Dr. Butler planned to "treat" me with as much Interferon as my body is able to handle per treatment based on my blood work and metabolic functions. The MAX dose on any day being 40 MIU (million units). When my liver reacted, he backed off (as he should) and then hit me with two days of low dose to make sure that my liver counts would come back to normal. Then he hit me hard again this week with 40 MIU for 3 days until my white blood cells dropped indicating that my body was at max capacity again. So he ordered 20 MIU for Friday.
Now on Monday, as long as my white blood cells are back to normal ranges, I will go back to 40 MIU for as long as my body can hang but NO MATTER WHAT, I will be DONE with High-Dose treatment on FRIDAY, JUNE 10th !!!!
You couldn't peel the smile off my face or Jim's for that matter. I told Dr. Butler that he should go for the big guns this week and I'll try to hang in there for the full 5 days at 40 MIU. KILL THAT MELANOMA!!!
I can do anything for 5 more days.
Then I get to go to Mississippi for a week with my hot cyclist boyfriend (Jim, of course) for some R&R before I start the next 48 weeks of low-dose treatment.
I can do ANYTHING for 5 more days .... especially if it means that I get a break!!
Oh and my liver, she is doing very well thank you! This week in spite of 3 days of high-dose, I dropped another 20 points back into the "normal" range. It seems that it was a case of temporary distress and now that the Interferon levels are not going away, my liver has adjusted to the extra work load. That's a good liver!!!
:) I'm going outside for a walk .... Got to work off some of this weeks Interferon and get ready for the final week!!!
I'm living STRONG and looking forward to a recovery break in ONE WEEK!
Bike Picnic Pictures
A little pale but still happy to be able to ride my bike. (That's Sunshine ~ She rocks!) It sure beats "NOT" being able to ride my bike...
Even after 7.47 miles, Jim can slice the perfect piece of bread. Viola!
Even after 7.47 miles, Jim can slice the perfect piece of bread. Viola!
Friday, June 03, 2005
An update on this week - 7.47 miles of reality
Well, I'm still here and I am 11 treatments away from being done with the "high dose" segment of this adventure. That is 3 treatments closer than I was on Monday, so I will take it. Here's a brief summary of my week.
--
MON - Bike Picnic with Jim! I was able to ride my bike approximately 7.47 miles and that was as far as I was going! 37 minutes on the Mt. Vernon Trail. To my credit, we started the ride with the last 3 miles "up" to Mt. Vernon. To my dismay at the turn around at Mt. Vernon (after a short incline of less than 200m) I was hanging over my handle bars gasping like I was when I climbed parts of the 8% gradient of Col de la Madeline in the French Alps last year. I have no grand "illusions" that I am going to sneak the "Dragonfly Sprint Triathlon" into my schedule in 3 weeks. [For the record, I did briefly entertain that fantasy last week, that is what a week of low dose Interferon will do to you!!]
TUES - Walked 2 miles (15.:30 minute miles!), Worked from home for a few hours (Graphic Designer, have G4 Mac laptop - can work anywhere), 40 MIU Interferon - Treatment 7 Complete!
WED - Still feeling good. Walked 2 miles, Worked from home, 40 MIU Interferon - Treatment 8 Complete! Slight headache around bedtime.
THURS - Feel good, look AWFUL! Woke to dry mouth and the "metal taste" is back, Swollen face, pale. Walked 1.5 miles (16:30 pace), Worked from home, 40 MIU Interferon - White Blood Cell count dropping Blood sent out to check liver and prepped by Tess (oncology nurse extroidinaire) that I "might get a 3 day weekend" - Treatment 9 completed!
FRI - Current Status - BLAH! All the "side effects" I blamed on Morphine two weeks ago, I have now come to realize, are specifically "Interferon related". Last night I had a "headache" that reduced me to a lump on my favorite chair. I followed that up with a nice case of "insomnia" that lasted well into 2AM before I began "cat-napping" every hour or so. I woke up this morning on the edge of nausea and I am up 5 pounds in weight from Wednesday morning. I think it is safe to say that I really didn't eat THAT MUCH Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream in 48 hours.
I don't have high hopes for getting to Treatment 10 today. I don't "FEEL" right and I understand now that something is definitely going on with my body today. Well see what the bloodwork says at 1:30pm.
--
So I have come to accept that 20 Treatments may take 6 weeks instead of 4 weeks. My body is handling as much as it can before it cry's "UNCLE" and I apologized to my liver this morning for missing the signals last time. But now we are in synch so I can be a better advocate.
We got some great pics from Monday's bike picnic but I have no idea how to work the camera-download "thingamajiggee" so I will post them tomorrow with an update on the final status of "Treatment 10".
I hope everybody is doing well and had a wonderful week!
I'm living STRONG and "babying" my liver here in Arlington, VA.
--
MON - Bike Picnic with Jim! I was able to ride my bike approximately 7.47 miles and that was as far as I was going! 37 minutes on the Mt. Vernon Trail. To my credit, we started the ride with the last 3 miles "up" to Mt. Vernon. To my dismay at the turn around at Mt. Vernon (after a short incline of less than 200m) I was hanging over my handle bars gasping like I was when I climbed parts of the 8% gradient of Col de la Madeline in the French Alps last year. I have no grand "illusions" that I am going to sneak the "Dragonfly Sprint Triathlon" into my schedule in 3 weeks. [For the record, I did briefly entertain that fantasy last week, that is what a week of low dose Interferon will do to you!!]
TUES - Walked 2 miles (15.:30 minute miles!), Worked from home for a few hours (Graphic Designer, have G4 Mac laptop - can work anywhere), 40 MIU Interferon - Treatment 7 Complete!
WED - Still feeling good. Walked 2 miles, Worked from home, 40 MIU Interferon - Treatment 8 Complete! Slight headache around bedtime.
THURS - Feel good, look AWFUL! Woke to dry mouth and the "metal taste" is back, Swollen face, pale. Walked 1.5 miles (16:30 pace), Worked from home, 40 MIU Interferon - White Blood Cell count dropping
FRI - Current Status - BLAH! All the "side effects" I blamed on Morphine two weeks ago, I have now come to realize, are specifically "Interferon related". Last night I had a "headache" that reduced me to a lump on my favorite chair. I followed that up with a nice case of "insomnia" that lasted well into 2AM before I began "cat-napping" every hour or so. I woke up this morning on the edge of nausea and I am up 5 pounds in weight from Wednesday morning. I think it is safe to say that I really didn't eat THAT MUCH Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream in 48 hours.
I don't have high hopes for getting to Treatment 10 today. I don't "FEEL" right and I understand now that something is definitely going on with my body today. Well see what the bloodwork says at 1:30pm.
--
So I have come to accept that 20 Treatments may take 6 weeks instead of 4 weeks. My body is handling as much as it can before it cry's "UNCLE" and I apologized to my liver this morning for missing the signals last time. But now we are in synch so I can be a better advocate.
We got some great pics from Monday's bike picnic but I have no idea how to work the camera-download "thingamajiggee" so I will post them tomorrow with an update on the final status of "Treatment 10".
I hope everybody is doing well and had a wonderful week!
I'm living STRONG and "babying" my liver here in Arlington, VA.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Holiday Weekend Check-In
I hope where ever you find yourself this weekend ... at the shore, in the mountains or perhaps in your own backyard ... that you are having a nice weekend and that you stop and take a moment and remember all those men and women who have given their lives to protect our personal freedoms both today and in generations past. HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!
__
It's been a good weekend so far on many levels. The week was hard and Thursday and Friday my white blood cell count continued to climb back into the low ranges of "normal", however my liver is still in a bit of shock. As a result, Dr. Butler (oncologist) ordered that my treatments on Thursday and Friday be reduced to 10 million units (from 40 million units) of Interferon. This is frustrating and a little worrisome for me since that is the "low dose" level and the efficacy is questionable at this stage of melanoma treatment.
But I only have one liver and I need it to do Ironmans in the future AND to survive and function normally, so I am glad that my Dr. isn't just going for broke just because I feel the need to "stick to the plan." Dr. Butler is a Liver's best friend.
Still I wonder, did I really need that one last Black and Tan three weeks ago? And all that wine in France last summer?
Ahh ... Could of, would of ... I'm glad I did.
--
Since I have been on "low-dose" levels of Interferon, I have been feeling good and able to enjoy this holiday weekend and the beautiful weather here in the Northern VA/DC Metro area. Hold your hats, cause I have some milage for you -
•Friday - 2 mile walk - slow and steady, felt good
•Saturday - 5 mile walk - 15 minute pace, felt GREAT and the Ipod Mini and I were rockin!
•Sunday - 7 mile walk - 15-16 minute pace, walk along the Mt Vernon Trail - Just me, my Ipod Mini, the smell of hunysuckle and about 25-30 random fellow athlete's getting their weekend workout in.
Tomorrow Jim and I plan to go on a mini "Bike Picnic". The goal is 30 minutes OR 10 miles, whatever feels right for me. Then we are going to sit on the grass and enjoy baguettes, jambon et fromage (ham and cheese) and some non-alcoholic beverage and relax. It's been almost a year since our trip to the French Alps to watch the Tour de France and we miss our favorite French meal.
The Tour de France - now that was an epic vacation - I blogged that too ... you can read about it all here if you get bored later this week. (AUTHOR'S NOTE: Visually this blog is bad but to follow the story, click on July 2004 link under Archieve and SCROLL all the way to the bottom - It's a good story, worth some scrolling - but I am biased - - HG)
--
Speaking of epic ... WAY TO GO TEAM DISCOVERY CHANNEL and Paolo Savoldelli for winning the Giro d'Italia!
__
It's been a good weekend so far on many levels. The week was hard and Thursday and Friday my white blood cell count continued to climb back into the low ranges of "normal", however my liver is still in a bit of shock. As a result, Dr. Butler (oncologist) ordered that my treatments on Thursday and Friday be reduced to 10 million units (from 40 million units) of Interferon. This is frustrating and a little worrisome for me since that is the "low dose" level and the efficacy is questionable at this stage of melanoma treatment.
But I only have one liver and I need it to do Ironmans in the future AND to survive and function normally, so I am glad that my Dr. isn't just going for broke just because I feel the need to "stick to the plan." Dr. Butler is a Liver's best friend.
Still I wonder, did I really need that one last Black and Tan three weeks ago? And all that wine in France last summer?
Ahh ... Could of, would of ... I'm glad I did.
--
Since I have been on "low-dose" levels of Interferon, I have been feeling good and able to enjoy this holiday weekend and the beautiful weather here in the Northern VA/DC Metro area. Hold your hats, cause I have some milage for you -
•Friday - 2 mile walk - slow and steady, felt good
•Saturday - 5 mile walk - 15 minute pace, felt GREAT and the Ipod Mini and I were rockin!
•Sunday - 7 mile walk - 15-16 minute pace, walk along the Mt Vernon Trail - Just me, my Ipod Mini, the smell of hunysuckle and about 25-30 random fellow athlete's getting their weekend workout in.
Tomorrow Jim and I plan to go on a mini "Bike Picnic". The goal is 30 minutes OR 10 miles, whatever feels right for me. Then we are going to sit on the grass and enjoy baguettes, jambon et fromage (ham and cheese) and some non-alcoholic beverage and relax. It's been almost a year since our trip to the French Alps to watch the Tour de France and we miss our favorite French meal.
The Tour de France - now that was an epic vacation - I blogged that too ... you can read about it all here if you get bored later this week. (AUTHOR'S NOTE: Visually this blog is bad but to follow the story, click on July 2004 link under Archieve and SCROLL all the way to the bottom - It's a good story, worth some scrolling - but I am biased -
--
Speaking of epic ... WAY TO GO TEAM DISCOVERY CHANNEL and Paolo Savoldelli for winning the Giro d'Italia!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Something else for a change ...Sisters!
BLAH, no talking of mutant cells today because it is BEAUTIFUL outside today. It is a good morning for a run, bike ride or a walk and I am on my way out the door for a walk as soon as this post is finished.
I have two sisters. I am the oldest, by 11 years. Yeah, I know, I am aging well!!
They are fun, witty, beautiful and they indulge my crazy notions constantly. I have pictures to prove it. Here are Heather and Cathy running the Myrtle Beach 1/2 Marathon this past February.
Why did they run a 1/2 Marathon when neither of them had ever even run a 5K before in their lives?
Because I asked them if they would and then I tempted them with thoughts of medals given away at the end. I think the medals were the final deciding factor. LOL
Still, don't we all look sexy in our medals?
Do you want me to be your big sister? You might have to run a 1/2 Marathon... you better get out there and go for a run! Go on, try it, you might like it ....
HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYBODY!
I have two sisters. I am the oldest, by 11 years. Yeah, I know, I am aging well!!
They are fun, witty, beautiful and they indulge my crazy notions constantly. I have pictures to prove it. Here are Heather and Cathy running the Myrtle Beach 1/2 Marathon this past February.
Why did they run a 1/2 Marathon when neither of them had ever even run a 5K before in their lives?
Because I asked them if they would and then I tempted them with thoughts of medals given away at the end. I think the medals were the final deciding factor. LOL
Still, don't we all look sexy in our medals?
Do you want me to be your big sister? You might have to run a 1/2 Marathon... you better get out there and go for a run! Go on, try it, you might like it ....
HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYBODY!
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
So far behind that I might be ahead...6 treatments and holding!
I have 300 emails to check and many of them are still from last week. I am so far behind myself it is scary. To each and every friend and family member who has not heard from me yet, an email is coming.
You would think with all this time and no work, I would be on-line constantly but my mornings are spent slowly waking up and getting ready to go to treatment. Eating has become something of an effort. I'm just not very hungry but I'm making it a point to eat 3 times a day. You'd think with this lack of eating I'd be a rail but "no". I guess that that sharp decrease in activity takes away that extra calorie burn. No problem though, at least I am holding steady on the scale and not gaining either.
For those of you don't already know, I am a happy little control freak. I think it makes me a good triathlete. I can make a plan and stick to it!
Now imagine you are a control freak going through 20 cycles of Interferon therapy...and you walk into the office on Tuesday for treatment # 7 and they take your temp, take some blood, make you wait for 45 minutes and then SEND YOU HOME!!!
No chemo for me for 2 DAYS!!! ARG!!!
That is 2 treatments that I now have to make up at the end of "the plan"!! That is sooooo NOT in my grand scheme of things, ya know?
It seems that my white blood cell count is too low and since I "NEED" the white blood cells to kick the melanoma cells out, my treatment is taking a 2-day hiatus. So I have spent the past two dreary days (BRRR, it's chilly here in VA) reading and enjoying a respite from Tylenol.
If I have learned anything these past 3 months, it is that NOTHING in this experience is going to happen according to my own personal "timeline". All I can do is hope that these two days of rest have given my white blood cells a chance to regroup.
Tomorrows goals are:
1.) 20 minute walk
2.) Answer email
3.) Complete treatment #7
4.) Blog
Hey, you can take away the plan but you can't stop me from planning.
Living STRONG and regrouping the White Blood Cells for the fight!
You would think with all this time and no work, I would be on-line constantly but my mornings are spent slowly waking up and getting ready to go to treatment. Eating has become something of an effort. I'm just not very hungry but I'm making it a point to eat 3 times a day. You'd think with this lack of eating I'd be a rail but "no". I guess that that sharp decrease in activity takes away that extra calorie burn. No problem though, at least I am holding steady on the scale and not gaining either.
For those of you don't already know, I am a happy little control freak. I think it makes me a good triathlete. I can make a plan and stick to it!
Now imagine you are a control freak going through 20 cycles of Interferon therapy...and you walk into the office on Tuesday for treatment # 7 and they take your temp, take some blood, make you wait for 45 minutes and then SEND YOU HOME!!!
No chemo for me for 2 DAYS!!! ARG!!!
That is 2 treatments that I now have to make up at the end of "the plan"!! That is sooooo NOT in my grand scheme of things, ya know?
It seems that my white blood cell count is too low and since I "NEED" the white blood cells to kick the melanoma cells out, my treatment is taking a 2-day hiatus. So I have spent the past two dreary days (BRRR, it's chilly here in VA) reading and enjoying a respite from Tylenol.
If I have learned anything these past 3 months, it is that NOTHING in this experience is going to happen according to my own personal "timeline". All I can do is hope that these two days of rest have given my white blood cells a chance to regroup.
Tomorrows goals are:
1.) 20 minute walk
2.) Answer email
3.) Complete treatment #7
4.) Blog
Hey, you can take away the plan but you can't stop me from planning.
Living STRONG and regrouping the White Blood Cells for the fight!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
One Week Finished
I wish this weekend had been everything I was hoping it would be: relaxing, calm, renewing...
It wasn't.
It was full of nausia, constipation and sheer disbelief. My disbelief, of course.
OKAY, Drama over ....
Really, this does suck and I am having a hard time actually putting it into words because just 3 days ago I was able to take a 4 mile walk in the morning and today I struggled with the 1 mile walk that Jim and I went on. And I was happy to go on that one mile walk because it was the first time I could drag my "sick to my stomach" butt out of the lying position since Saturday morning.
The good part of all of this : 5 DOWN and only 15 treatments to go!
I think it is highly ironic that it is the "drugs" they are giving me to make me feel better after the Interferon headaches (AKA Morphine) that are giving me the worst side effects (nausia and constipation). How ANYBODY can get addicted to this crap is beyond me....
GIVE ME ENDORPHINS ANY DAY!
A special shout-out to my good friend NANCY! She finished the Columbia Triathlon today! WAY TO GO NANCE!
It wasn't.
It was full of nausia, constipation and sheer disbelief. My disbelief, of course.
OKAY, Drama over ....
Really, this does suck and I am having a hard time actually putting it into words because just 3 days ago I was able to take a 4 mile walk in the morning and today I struggled with the 1 mile walk that Jim and I went on. And I was happy to go on that one mile walk because it was the first time I could drag my "sick to my stomach" butt out of the lying position since Saturday morning.
The good part of all of this : 5 DOWN and only 15 treatments to go!
I think it is highly ironic that it is the "drugs" they are giving me to make me feel better after the Interferon headaches (AKA Morphine) that are giving me the worst side effects (nausia and constipation). How ANYBODY can get addicted to this crap is beyond me....
GIVE ME ENDORPHINS ANY DAY!
A special shout-out to my good friend NANCY! She finished the Columbia Triathlon today! WAY TO GO NANCE!
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
The difference between night and day...
Or more accurately the morning after....
This morning I woke up feeling a little sleepier than normal with just the vaguest hint of a headache. THANK GOODNESS!!! It looks as though my mornings are going to be the better part of the day during these first four weeks.
Yesterday, post-blog entry, was not very pleasant. My headache raged on through the remainder of the day, despite regular intervals of Tylenol every 4-6 hours. I was also treated to some full body chills, aches and a lovely round of fever that never got higher than 101 but would break and then return an hour later. It was everything they said to expect.
Throughout the day I kept reminding myself that these were symptoms of treatment and that I was not sick! Admittedly it was pretty hard to pull myself out of the "sleepy couch" in the height of these symptoms but around 6:30 pm, I realized that:
1.) I needed to eat
2.) Moving around might help me feel better than laying around feeling sick.
So I got up, make myself a ham and cheese sandwich and cleaned the kitchen a little, just the basics of dishes in the dishwasher and wiping the counter. It made me feel much better to be active on some level.
Jim went out and did 20 miles yesterday on our behalf. I liked hearing about his ride and knowing that he is finally rebounding from his long fight with Mono this winter. Serious illnesses always seem to knock the "heck" out of people with athletic lifestyles and sometimes the hardest part is getting back to what feels normal again.
With that in mind, I am on my way out the door for a lovely 1-mile walk. I have no idea how far is too far and don't want the "headache" to return PRIOR to my next treatment. AFTER, I can accept and rationalize. BEFORE is just to soon.
Interferon Cocktails are a b*tch kids! Stick to your basics (beer, wine and spirits) and put on some sunscreen! (SPF 30)
Living STRONG but feeling like I have a little hangover this morning.
This morning I woke up feeling a little sleepier than normal with just the vaguest hint of a headache. THANK GOODNESS!!! It looks as though my mornings are going to be the better part of the day during these first four weeks.
Yesterday, post-blog entry, was not very pleasant. My headache raged on through the remainder of the day, despite regular intervals of Tylenol every 4-6 hours. I was also treated to some full body chills, aches and a lovely round of fever that never got higher than 101 but would break and then return an hour later. It was everything they said to expect.
Throughout the day I kept reminding myself that these were symptoms of treatment and that I was not sick! Admittedly it was pretty hard to pull myself out of the "sleepy couch" in the height of these symptoms but around 6:30 pm, I realized that:
1.) I needed to eat
2.) Moving around might help me feel better than laying around feeling sick.
So I got up, make myself a ham and cheese sandwich and cleaned the kitchen a little, just the basics of dishes in the dishwasher and wiping the counter. It made me feel much better to be active on some level.
Jim went out and did 20 miles yesterday on our behalf.
With that in mind, I am on my way out the door for a lovely 1-mile walk. I have no idea how far is too far and don't want the "headache" to return PRIOR to my next treatment. AFTER, I can accept and rationalize. BEFORE is just to soon.
Interferon Cocktails are a b*tch kids! Stick to your basics (beer, wine and spirits) and put on some sunscreen! (SPF 30)
Living STRONG but feeling like I have a little hangover this morning.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
2 down, 18 to go.
I just wrote a great post and then it disappeared. UHG! So this entry will unfortunately be short because my head feels as though it is going to fall of my body any moment and roll down the stairs to relax with or without my torso attatched.
I had a beautiful weekend, got in a nice 6 mile walk on Saturday, had dinner with Jim at our favorite restaurant on Saturday night and spend Sunday running errands that I might not want to do later this weekend.
Monday morning I got in a nice 3.5 mile walk and then went in for my first treatment. It was hectic and a little nerve-wracking but Jim came with me to see what I would be going through day by day and to hold my hand.
Accessing the mediport is simple and relatively pain free and right now I have a lovely external tube in it for the duration of the week. It will come out Friday and a new one will go in on Monday. It makes everything easier throughout the daily treatments.
My typical treatment cycle goes like this:
100ml drip of saline & benadryl
100ml drip of saline & hydro-cortisone
500ml drip of saline (hydration)
100ml drip of INTRON A (40 million units) & saline
500ML drop of saline (more hydration)
The whole process takes about 3 hours from start to finish and it's a little hard to read. I think it is all still to new for me. Yesterday Jim and I just chatted the whole time and asked questions when the nurses came by to plug in new bags. Today I spend some quiet time listening to my iPod Mini and Jim did some reading.
In terms of side effects, so far, so good. I didn't have the raging 104 fever last night that the nurse told me to expect. Instead I had a fierce headache and some minor aches and pain (similar to early onset of flu). Right now, I have a serious headache and have had an upset stomach. Still I prefer this over chills and fever. Jim said he would pick the fever over the headache. I think though that I am content with the "status quo" of side effects for now.
Yesterday and today are the only time that my doses are close (less than 16 hour apart) as of tomorrow it will be every 24 hours so maybe that will cut the headache down to a dull roar. The nurse said my biggest problems were going to be keeping hydrated and possible mood swings. So I have a big bottle that we are filling alternately with water and gatoraid. The mood swing are likely to come much later in the treatment process.
OOPPS .. There goes my brain, I think she is getting ready to detach and leave my fingers to aimlessly type. That is my cue to step away from the computer screen
Somebody get out and ride 20 miles on your bike today! It is too nice out not to!
I'm living STRONG and doing well as long as the lights are dim and the noises low.
I had a beautiful weekend, got in a nice 6 mile walk on Saturday, had dinner with Jim at our favorite restaurant on Saturday night and spend Sunday running errands that I might not want to do later this weekend.
Monday morning I got in a nice 3.5 mile walk and then went in for my first treatment. It was hectic and a little nerve-wracking but Jim came with me to see what I would be going through day by day and to hold my hand.
Accessing the mediport is simple and relatively pain free and right now I have a lovely external tube in it for the duration of the week. It will come out Friday and a new one will go in on Monday. It makes everything easier throughout the daily treatments.
My typical treatment cycle goes like this:
100ml drip of saline & benadryl
100ml drip of saline & hydro-cortisone
500ml drip of saline (hydration)
100ml drip of INTRON A (40 million units) & saline
500ML drop of saline (more hydration)
The whole process takes about 3 hours from start to finish and it's a little hard to read. I think it is all still to new for me. Yesterday Jim and I just chatted the whole time and asked questions when the nurses came by to plug in new bags. Today I spend some quiet time listening to my iPod Mini and Jim did some reading.
In terms of side effects, so far, so good. I didn't have the raging 104 fever last night that the nurse told me to expect. Instead I had a fierce headache and some minor aches and pain (similar to early onset of flu). Right now, I have a serious headache and have had an upset stomach. Still I prefer this over chills and fever. Jim said he would pick the fever over the headache. I think though that I am content with the "status quo" of side effects for now.
Yesterday and today are the only time that my doses are close (less than 16 hour apart) as of tomorrow it will be every 24 hours so maybe that will cut the headache down to a dull roar. The nurse said my biggest problems were going to be keeping hydrated and possible mood swings. So I have a big bottle that we are filling alternately with water and gatoraid. The mood swing are likely to come much later in the treatment process.
OOPPS .. There goes my brain, I think she is getting ready to detach and leave my fingers to aimlessly type. That is my cue to step away from the computer screen
Somebody get out and ride 20 miles on your bike today! It is too nice out not to!
I'm living STRONG and doing well as long as the lights are dim and the noises low.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Posting Issues and "House Cleaning"
Thanks to my friend Kathy who is checking in on me and thinking of me often. I had no idea that I forgot to press the "publish" button after my last post and my sight was down. Thanks Kathy! Hopefully I will get the hang of this over time!
--
So my Dad said a great thing about my chemo last night that I really liked. He asked me if I could skip chemo since the latest pathology was negative. I told him that unfortunately it does really work that way at my stage of the game and his response was:
"Well I guess that we can just look at the chemo as "house cleaning" then .. your just cleaning up those last few loose cancer cells."
Leave it to my Dad to find a great positive spin on the Chemo! I love it! I am getting ready to do some serious "House Cleaning"...
Those Melanoma dust bunnies have no place to hide!!!! The big SWEEP is coming!
Dad's are wonderful things!!!
---
Sadly there will be no Columbia Triathlon for me this year. But I can still pick up my packet and go and cheer my friends on. Besides my good friend Nancy will be doing Columbia on that day with her mighty-fine bike, BUTTERCUP, so I want to see her finish strong! There will also be several other RATS and DEADS at the race to cheer on, so "chemo side-effects willing", I will be there!
--
So my Dad said a great thing about my chemo last night that I really liked. He asked me if I could skip chemo since the latest pathology was negative. I told him that unfortunately it does really work that way at my stage of the game and his response was:
"Well I guess that we can just look at the chemo as "house cleaning" then .. your just cleaning up those last few loose cancer cells."
Leave it to my Dad to find a great positive spin on the Chemo! I love it! I am getting ready to do some serious "House Cleaning"...
Those Melanoma dust bunnies have no place to hide!!!! The big SWEEP is coming!
Dad's are wonderful things!!!
---
Sadly there will be no Columbia Triathlon for me this year. But I can still pick up my packet and go and cheer my friends on. Besides my good friend Nancy will be doing Columbia on that day with her mighty-fine bike, BUTTERCUP, so I want to see her finish strong! There will also be several other RATS and DEADS at the race to cheer on, so "chemo side-effects willing", I will be there!
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
YEAH!!!! CLEAN NODES, CLEAN NODES, Holly has CLEAN NODES!!!
Alright, so Dr. Wagner didn't find as many as he hoped to find. Apparently the fat pad they typically removed has an average of 5 - 20 lymph nodes. Still the negative prognosis means that they don't feel the need to go in and get any more. They are satisfied that they got the metastic Melanoma that settled in.
Dr. Butler (oncologist) said he was happy to consider me now on the good end of 50/50: the 50% of patients who survive Melanoma and reminded me that doing the Interferon Therapy will give me another 10-15% points to add to that survival margin! I will take all the points I can get!
The hope is that any lingering Melanoma cells will die when the Interferon treatments start on Monday.
Yep. MONDAY.
4 weeks of chemotherapy I.V. with Intron-A (Interferon Alfa-2b, recombinant), 5 days a week - 3 hours at a time. I will get allot of reading done and plan to make a few upbeat mixes for the iPod Mini.
After the 4 week induction stage, I am going to get 2 weeks off so Jim and I can keep our current vacation plans in place and then I will resume with 48 weeks of shots at 3x per week.
Lots to do over the next few days with Insurance, Work and odds and ends. And I will be smiling the whole time because in spite of the year ahead, We just LEAPED over a hurdle with some GOOD NEWS for the first time since this whole thing started! And good news is always welcome!
Any good suggestions for upbeat songs to listen to while in chemo? Any good books you can recommend? Leave me a note in the comments and let me know!
CLEAN NODES! CLEAN NODES! Hehehehe .. Living STRONG here in Northern VA!
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Drain Free and Loving It!
Finally today I was able to rid myself of that blasted drain. I have had drain before and this one was no different. They pinch and pull and are a general nuisance just like you might imagine a piece of tubing sticking out of your body might be.
I stopped into Dr. Wagner's office (surgeon extraordinaire) and he had the drain pulled out in less time than it took me to take off my shirt. Admittedly, I am moving slowly these days with my shirt since both arms are still stiff and tender from surgery but it was still quick. And the best part was that I didn't even feel him pull it out! I guess the drain was not set very deeply into my armpit.
So, Dr. Wagner's part in my Melanoma adventures is over for the time being. He said he didn't want to see me until it was time to remove the Mediport. No word on the pathology of the lymph nodes yet but he said that he was going to try to have the report for tomorrow when I sat down to meet with Dr. Butler (my oncologist). So for now, the "Clean Nodes" mantra that I have been saying is still in effect.
As soon as the drain was out of lower arm pit, all immediate pain stopped. It is still tender and sore and I still can't raise either arm above my head but I already found myself thinking, "I wonder if I could recover enough to do the Columbia Triathlon in two weeks?" Funny how simply removing a tube made me reevaluate just how "triathlon" capable I really am.
Tomorrow's appointment with Dr. Butler will solidify the reality of what comes next so I am trying to shush the crazy triathlete in my head who still wants to finish up the spring season she was on track for.
The Columbia Triathlon holds a special place in my heart because it was my first Triathlon. It is a challenging course with lots of hills on the bike and run and it would do me good to remind myself that even with the great base that I have this season a .9 mile swim, a hilly 25 mile bike and a hilly 10K run is a challenging day without surgery under your belt 3 weeks prior.
Oh well, it makes me happy just to imagine the possibility of keeping that race on my calendar. That counts for something!
I have not had the courage to tell Dr. Butler that I have plans to still do the Marine Corps Marathon in the late Fall (October 2005) but Coach Debi and Jim know that I am still holding onto that race with hope. I don't hold grandiose notions of setting a PR in the Marathon but with a smart training plan and hope that the Interferon doesn't knock me on my butt during the low-dose phase, it is certainly worth a try. I'd have between 5.5 - 6 hours to get to the 14th Street Bridge and the 20 mile mark before the Sweep Bus catches me, so what is the harm in having a goal? No harm that I can see at this point!
As Lance Armstrong says: "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."
Live STRONG!
I stopped into Dr. Wagner's office (surgeon extraordinaire) and he had the drain pulled out in less time than it took me to take off my shirt. Admittedly, I am moving slowly these days with my shirt since both arms are still stiff and tender from surgery but it was still quick. And the best part was that I didn't even feel him pull it out! I guess the drain was not set very deeply into my armpit.
So, Dr. Wagner's part in my Melanoma adventures is over for the time being. He said he didn't want to see me until it was time to remove the Mediport. No word on the pathology of the lymph nodes yet but he said that he was going to try to have the report for tomorrow when I sat down to meet with Dr. Butler (my oncologist). So for now, the "Clean Nodes" mantra that I have been saying is still in effect.
As soon as the drain was out of lower arm pit, all immediate pain stopped. It is still tender and sore and I still can't raise either arm above my head but I already found myself thinking, "I wonder if I could recover enough to do the Columbia Triathlon in two weeks?" Funny how simply removing a tube made me reevaluate just how "triathlon" capable I really am.
Tomorrow's appointment with Dr. Butler will solidify the reality of what comes next so I am trying to shush the crazy triathlete in my head who still wants to finish up the spring season she was on track for.
The Columbia Triathlon holds a special place in my heart because it was my first Triathlon. It is a challenging course with lots of hills on the bike and run and it would do me good to remind myself that even with the great base that I have this season a .9 mile swim, a hilly 25 mile bike and a hilly 10K run is a challenging day without surgery under your belt 3 weeks prior.
Oh well, it makes me happy just to imagine the possibility of keeping that race on my calendar. That counts for something!
I have not had the courage to tell Dr. Butler that I have plans to still do the Marine Corps Marathon in the late Fall (October 2005) but Coach Debi and Jim know that I am still holding onto that race with hope. I don't hold grandiose notions of setting a PR in the Marathon but with a smart training plan and hope that the Interferon doesn't knock me on my butt during the low-dose phase, it is certainly worth a try. I'd have between 5.5 - 6 hours to get to the 14th Street Bridge and the 20 mile mark before the Sweep Bus catches me, so what is the harm in having a goal? No harm that I can see at this point!
As Lance Armstrong says: "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."
Live STRONG!
Monday, May 09, 2005
Surgery #2 - Finis!
C'est Finis!
Surgery #2 of to remove more lymph nodes from my left auxiliary (aka armpit) and to place a Mediport is complete and I am doing well. Tomorrow Dr. Wagner will take out the drain that is currently in place and proving to be a total pain in my armpit and then on Wednesday, Jim and I will meet with Dr. Butler and start planning the "nitty gritty" that will become "adjuvant therapy" for the next 52 weeks.
The surgery itself was fairly normal with the exception of my right arm and her numerous veins. On Wednesday, my veins decided they would rather not be available for the convenience of the anesthesiologist and myself. So after 3 attempts, they simply rolled me down to OR, had me slide on over onto the operating table and slipped the gas masked over my face and told me to breath deep.
An hour and a half later I came to with an IV sticking out of my jugular vein!! Not at all what I was anticipating and as you can imagine, it took a little extra effort on my part to calm down, relax and come around. Thankfully Jim was allowed into OR recovery to help relax me and as soon as he was there, holding my hand, my pulse dropped and my tear subsided. All in all, I think I handled it well considering that no where in my expectations for post-surgery had I planned on an external jugular catheter!
Expectations are a bitch!
Recovery these past 5 days has been okay. Post surgery, I felt the normal pain from the drain that I expected (some pinching and tugging) and overall soreness in my right arm and shoulder from the placement of the Mediport. Day 2 my entire back felt like I had been either 1.) Hit by a truck at high speed OR 2.) Done an endo off my bike and landed flat on my back .. Choose the scenario you can relate to most. My muscles were sore, tight and I ached all over.
Now on Day 5, except for the nuisance of the drain, I feel fine. I'd go for a run if my arms could move more freely, instead I settled for a two mile walk on Sunday and 30 minutes on a recumbent bike at the gym tomorrow after the drain is removed!
They put the Mediport in my upper chest instead of behind my collarbone as described prior to surgery. Jim and I suspected that placement was dictated by the unexpected need for a line in my jugular vein during surgery. I plan to ask Dr. Wagner tomorrow. For now it doesn't seem to bother me much but I suspect that I might have to choose my bras carefully since the Mediport is placed in line with where some bra straps might fall.
So that is the latest on my end. The pathology on the additional lymph nodes probably won't be ready until the end of this week. I imagine that "could" have in impact on the talks with my oncologist, Dr. Butler. Still right now all the focus is on CLEAN NODES! Say it with me: CLEAN NODES!
One Day at a time, Living STRONG all the way!
Surgery #2 of to remove more lymph nodes from my left auxiliary (aka armpit) and to place a Mediport is complete and I am doing well. Tomorrow Dr. Wagner will take out the drain that is currently in place and proving to be a total pain in my armpit and then on Wednesday, Jim and I will meet with Dr. Butler and start planning the "nitty gritty" that will become "adjuvant therapy" for the next 52 weeks.
The surgery itself was fairly normal with the exception of my right arm and her numerous veins. On Wednesday, my veins decided they would rather not be available for the convenience of the anesthesiologist and myself. So after 3 attempts, they simply rolled me down to OR, had me slide on over onto the operating table and slipped the gas masked over my face and told me to breath deep.
An hour and a half later I came to with an IV sticking out of my jugular vein!! Not at all what I was anticipating and as you can imagine, it took a little extra effort on my part to calm down, relax and come around. Thankfully Jim was allowed into OR recovery to help relax me and as soon as he was there, holding my hand, my pulse dropped and my tear subsided. All in all, I think I handled it well considering that no where in my expectations for post-surgery had I planned on an external jugular catheter!
Expectations are a bitch!
Recovery these past 5 days has been okay. Post surgery, I felt the normal pain from the drain that I expected (some pinching and tugging) and overall soreness in my right arm and shoulder from the placement of the Mediport. Day 2 my entire back felt like I had been either 1.) Hit by a truck at high speed OR 2.) Done an endo off my bike and landed flat on my back .. Choose the scenario you can relate to most. My muscles were sore, tight and I ached all over.
Now on Day 5, except for the nuisance of the drain, I feel fine. I'd go for a run if my arms could move more freely, instead I settled for a two mile walk on Sunday and 30 minutes on a recumbent bike at the gym tomorrow after the drain is removed!
They put the Mediport in my upper chest instead of behind my collarbone as described prior to surgery. Jim and I suspected that placement was dictated by the unexpected need for a line in my jugular vein during surgery. I plan to ask Dr. Wagner tomorrow. For now it doesn't seem to bother me much but I suspect that I might have to choose my bras carefully since the Mediport is placed in line with where some bra straps might fall.
So that is the latest on my end. The pathology on the additional lymph nodes probably won't be ready until the end of this week. I imagine that "could" have in impact on the talks with my oncologist, Dr. Butler. Still right now all the focus is on CLEAN NODES! Say it with me: CLEAN NODES!
One Day at a time, Living STRONG all the way!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
May is Melanoma Awareness Month
Be sure you go through the house and throw out all of last years sunscreen and get yourself a new batch for this summer. After all, spring cleaning should include more than just your house!
-----
So I've been thinking about everything a lot lately (D'OH, no really?!?) and there is still one particular thing that really makes me angry.
I DON'T FEEL SICK!
All through this early diagnosis, I have felt fine. Great! Amazing, in fact. I have been running faster than last year, mile for mile. I have busted my butt and lost the 20 extra pounds I gained last year PLUS 10 more for good measure! And I had a very full and exciting triathlon season planned.
Now before you go and admonish me too much, let me also state that I am VERY THANKFUL that I don't feel sick. I know that this is a blessing and I know that feeling this good tells my Doctors that maybe they did get it all early enough and that the additional surgery and adjuvant therapy are simply some extra "insurance" against a later reoccurance.
Still, the frustration of knowing that I feel great now and in less than a month I might not feel so great is looming. I made myself a little note last night and put it on my mirror. The note says:
You WILL get through this and you WILL feel 100% better!
Just take it one day at a time for the next 365 days!
-----
So I've been thinking about everything a lot lately (D'OH, no really?!?) and there is still one particular thing that really makes me angry.
I DON'T FEEL SICK!
All through this early diagnosis, I have felt fine. Great! Amazing, in fact. I have been running faster than last year, mile for mile. I have busted my butt and lost the 20 extra pounds I gained last year PLUS 10 more for good measure! And I had a very full and exciting triathlon season planned.
Now before you go and admonish me too much, let me also state that I am VERY THANKFUL that I don't feel sick. I know that this is a blessing and I know that feeling this good tells my Doctors that maybe they did get it all early enough and that the additional surgery and adjuvant therapy are simply some extra "insurance" against a later reoccurance.
Still, the frustration of knowing that I feel great now and in less than a month I might not feel so great is looming. I made myself a little note last night and put it on my mirror. The note says:
You WILL get through this and you WILL feel 100% better!
Just take it one day at a time for the next 365 days!
Monday, May 02, 2005
Status Quo
So this brings you to the present and my status quo:
I have my second round of surgery set for Wednesday, May 4th.
Dr. Wagner will remove a large portion of my sentinel lymph nodes and place a "Mediport" catheter into my chest to make the Interferon IV infusions and blood work samples needed throughout the year easier on my poor arms. Sounds better than being a pincushion and having the veins in my arms collapse!
Another great thing - I can swim with this "Mediport" since it is completely under my skin!!
You can just call me "Robo-Holly" as of Wednesday.
I see my Oncologist a week after surgery to get started on the arrangement/planning to start the Interferon Therapy.
Let the battle begin in earnest!! I'm ready.
Message to Melanoma cells still in my body: You little freaky bastards pick the WRONG WOMAN! I am a freakin' triathlete and a soon to be IRONMAN! I have plans, and they sure as hell don't include you! You had better get the hell out of my lymph nodes and I hope you suffer and die when that Interferon hits my system! There is no room for you here!
I have my second round of surgery set for Wednesday, May 4th.
Dr. Wagner will remove a large portion of my sentinel lymph nodes and place a "Mediport" catheter into my chest to make the Interferon IV infusions and blood work samples needed throughout the year easier on my poor arms. Sounds better than being a pincushion and having the veins in my arms collapse!
Another great thing - I can swim with this "Mediport" since it is completely under my skin!!
You can just call me "Robo-Holly" as of Wednesday.
I see my Oncologist a week after surgery to get started on the arrangement/planning to start the Interferon Therapy.
Let the battle begin in earnest!! I'm ready.
Message to Melanoma cells still in my body: You little freaky bastards pick the WRONG WOMAN! I am a freakin' triathlete and a soon to be IRONMAN! I have plans, and they sure as hell don't include you! You had better get the hell out of my lymph nodes and I hope you suffer and die when that Interferon hits my system! There is no room for you here!
Opinion #2 - Interferon-alpha & My Choice
So with the Richmond 10K under my belt, I did more reading and tried to patiently wait 10 days for my second opinion from the Oncologist recommended by my surgeon.
On April 18th, Jim and I met with Dr. Butler and discussed my prognosis. His recommendation is a Lymph Node Dissection to make sure that there is no more cancer and a year of Interferon-alpha therapy.
Jim and I weighed the pro and we weighed the cons of Interferon vs a clinical trial. The Interferon leaves allot to be desired in the immediate "Quality of Life" scenario but we know it has a high chance of adding an additional disease-free year to my life. The clinical trials are a gamble. Some work, some don't ... and most trial are 2 years of study with no guarantee.
So for me the real factor became:
Do I give up a year NOW and feel like I have the flu and worse so that I gain a year later?
OR
Do I give up 2 years on a clinical trial, have better quality of life for those two years and run the risk that it might not work at all, in which case, Interferon-alpha will probably have to happen anyways?
---------
No decision is easy to make. Interferon is nasty for some people and mild for others. There is no way to know what my reaction will be. But it is my decision to take the choice that already has know efficacy.
On April 18th, Jim and I met with Dr. Butler and discussed my prognosis. His recommendation is a Lymph Node Dissection to make sure that there is no more cancer and a year of Interferon-alpha therapy.
Jim and I weighed the pro and we weighed the cons of Interferon vs a clinical trial. The Interferon leaves allot to be desired in the immediate "Quality of Life" scenario but we know it has a high chance of adding an additional disease-free year to my life. The clinical trials are a gamble. Some work, some don't ... and most trial are 2 years of study with no guarantee.
So for me the real factor became:
Do I give up a year NOW and feel like I have the flu and worse so that I gain a year later?
OR
Do I give up 2 years on a clinical trial, have better quality of life for those two years and run the risk that it might not work at all, in which case, Interferon-alpha will probably have to happen anyways?
---------
No decision is easy to make. Interferon is nasty for some people and mild for others. There is no way to know what my reaction will be. But it is my decision to take the choice that already has know efficacy.
A Month of Anxiety - Opinion #1 - Clinical Trial
If somebody told you that you had cancer and that it happened to be a cancer that they really don't have much approved, effective treatment for once it has metastasized, would you be a little concerned?
Yes Holly, I would.
Good, I am normal. And do you think if after you got your initial news that the cancer had spread, you had been told that the next time a Dr. could see you might be in a month, that you might freak out a little?
Yes, Holly , I might!
Well I did. I am a reader and the internet has plenty to read. I got online and read everything I could. The best links I found are to the right. They are very helpful!
So I read and read and read and realized that with 4 weeks until I saw my "first opinion" Dr., I might just be able to get to see a "second opinion" Dr as well. This led to me to finding NIH, NCI and the Maryland Melanoma Center. All groups that are running clinical trials for Melanoma.
Clinical Trials? Isn't that a bit much? That is what I thought too. But the reality of Melanoma is that is is a "Freaky, Nasty, Funky Cancer" that doesn't seem to respond like many other cancers. So many of the Chemos and Therapy that work in other cases don't work for Melanoma. In fact only one treatment besides surgery is currently approved for use in treating Melanoma with the FDA. That doesn't leave one with too many choices or recommendations.
So I was able to get an appointment on April 8th at the Maryland Melanoma Center in Baltimore, MD. Jim and I drove up and the kind and young Dr. Z. met with us and looked over my case and gave me 4 options that he saw based on my prognosis which is Metastic Melanoma, STAGE III
Choice 1: Do nothing (NOT RECOMMENDED)
Choice 2: Have a lymph node dissection to removed the rest of the nodes under my arm in an effort to determine:
a. That the cancer has not spread
b. That the cancer has spread
Choice 3: Lymph Node Dissection & Interferon Adjuvant Therapy
Choice 4: Lymph Node Dissection & MMC Clinical Trial of Low Dose Interlukin-2
Jim and I took this information with us and headed to Richmond for the weekend. After all, I had a 10K to run! Melanoma or no Melanoma, I was running this race!
Yes Holly, I would.
Good, I am normal. And do you think if after you got your initial news that the cancer had spread, you had been told that the next time a Dr. could see you might be in a month, that you might freak out a little?
Yes, Holly , I might!
Well I did. I am a reader and the internet has plenty to read. I got online and read everything I could. The best links I found are to the right. They are very helpful!
So I read and read and read and realized that with 4 weeks until I saw my "first opinion" Dr., I might just be able to get to see a "second opinion" Dr as well. This led to me to finding NIH, NCI and the Maryland Melanoma Center. All groups that are running clinical trials for Melanoma.
Clinical Trials? Isn't that a bit much? That is what I thought too. But the reality of Melanoma is that is is a "Freaky, Nasty, Funky Cancer" that doesn't seem to respond like many other cancers. So many of the Chemos and Therapy that work in other cases don't work for Melanoma. In fact only one treatment besides surgery is currently approved for use in treating Melanoma with the FDA. That doesn't leave one with too many choices or recommendations.
So I was able to get an appointment on April 8th at the Maryland Melanoma Center in Baltimore, MD. Jim and I drove up and the kind and young Dr. Z. met with us and looked over my case and gave me 4 options that he saw based on my prognosis which is Metastic Melanoma, STAGE III
Choice 1: Do nothing (NOT RECOMMENDED)
Choice 2: Have a lymph node dissection to removed the rest of the nodes under my arm in an effort to determine:
a. That the cancer has not spread
b. That the cancer has spread
Choice 3: Lymph Node Dissection & Interferon Adjuvant Therapy
Choice 4: Lymph Node Dissection & MMC Clinical Trial of Low Dose Interlukin-2
Jim and I took this information with us and headed to Richmond for the weekend. After all, I had a 10K to run! Melanoma or no Melanoma, I was running this race!
Shocked - Node Biopsy Positive - Metastic Melanoma
Okay, nothing can prepare you for the news that cancer has already spread. ESPECIALLY when you have already been told that it has not spread. My case is not one of malpractice or misinformation. It is simply the nature of surgical pathology. You can't test everything right then and there and in my case, the melanoma in my sentinel lymph node has metastasized to the very top of my lymph node in a microscopic but very present colony of cells. Taking sections from various spots in the middle of the lymph node did in fact come back negative for melanoma.
Because the bastard cells were hiding out up at the top! Sneaky little freaky cancer! Now I know you .... and now I know that you are not going to fit into my "comfortable type A, as you expect it to go" scenario.
Soon March 21, I see my surgeon for one week follow-up from surgery. I am feeling great and two weeks away from a 10k running race. The positive biopsy shocks us both. Dr. Wagner (who is still my surgeon, I like him .. just don't like the cancer) recommends me to a local oncologist, Dr. Butler. It is time to bring in a specialist to recommend what happens next.
Parting words: If it takes 3 weeks to get an appointment with Dr. Butler, try not to worry. I think that is still an okay timeline based on the biopsy. Come back and see me in a few months so that I can check on those scars.
I stop into Dr. Butler's office on my way out of the building and make an appointment. The soonest he can see me is April 18th (4 weeks away) and I can imagine why. He office waiting room is packed! And suddenly I realize that all these people are "cancer patients" and their family or friends.
Oh my gosh .. this is getting serious! I call Jim as I wait for the bus to go back to work. Honey, they found more cancer. I can't do this alone anymore. Can you come with me when I go back to the oncologist? The answer is as I knew it would be:
YES!
Because the bastard cells were hiding out up at the top! Sneaky little freaky cancer! Now I know you .... and now I know that you are not going to fit into my "comfortable type A, as you expect it to go" scenario.
Soon March 21, I see my surgeon for one week follow-up from surgery. I am feeling great and two weeks away from a 10k running race. The positive biopsy shocks us both. Dr. Wagner (who is still my surgeon, I like him .. just don't like the cancer) recommends me to a local oncologist, Dr. Butler. It is time to bring in a specialist to recommend what happens next.
Parting words: If it takes 3 weeks to get an appointment with Dr. Butler, try not to worry. I think that is still an okay timeline based on the biopsy. Come back and see me in a few months so that I can check on those scars.
I stop into Dr. Butler's office on my way out of the building and make an appointment. The soonest he can see me is April 18th (4 weeks away) and I can imagine why. He office waiting room is packed! And suddenly I realize that all these people are "cancer patients" and their family or friends.
Oh my gosh .. this is getting serious! I call Jim as I wait for the bus to go back to work. Honey, they found more cancer. I can't do this alone anymore. Can you come with me when I go back to the oncologist? The answer is as I knew it would be:
YES!
Surgery - Part I
Malignant Melanoma .. type it in a search engine and see how quickly you would freak out? Ah .. but do enough reading and you realize that caught early 90% of Melanoma is stopped in it's tracks! That is good news for many!
That is the news that I clung too and that is the "word" that the surgeon and my former Dermatologist stuck to. "You caught this early, we will do a wide excision and you will be fine."
Just one little thing... the melanoma was a little deep. Anything over 1.00 mm and we like to do a Sentinel Lymph node Biopsy to make sure that the Melanoma had not metastasized to the lymph nodes.
So on March 11th, a full month after I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. I had a wide area excision on my back and a sentinel lymph node biopsy of the left auxiliary (aka left armpit). The initial determination of the sentinel node was NEGATIVE based on frozen sections take while in the OR. Little did I know (because I didn't ask and was not told) that there was additional pathology to be done before it was a final Negative.
Surgery was outpatient and recovery was quick. I was back to running and biking within the week and onto swimming again two weeks post surgery. Other than some initial pain in my left arm which cleared up just 4 weeks after surgery, I was pretty much pain free and didn't need to take any time off from work since I planned surgery on a Friday and spent the weekend recuperating.
That is the news that I clung too and that is the "word" that the surgeon and my former Dermatologist stuck to. "You caught this early, we will do a wide excision and you will be fine."
Just one little thing... the melanoma was a little deep. Anything over 1.00 mm and we like to do a Sentinel Lymph node Biopsy to make sure that the Melanoma had not metastasized to the lymph nodes.
So on March 11th, a full month after I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. I had a wide area excision on my back and a sentinel lymph node biopsy of the left auxiliary (aka left armpit). The initial determination of the sentinel node was NEGATIVE based on frozen sections take while in the OR. Little did I know (because I didn't ask and was not told) that there was additional pathology to be done before it was a final Negative.
Surgery was outpatient and recovery was quick. I was back to running and biking within the week and onto swimming again two weeks post surgery. Other than some initial pain in my left arm which cleared up just 4 weeks after surgery, I was pretty much pain free and didn't need to take any time off from work since I planned surgery on a Friday and spent the weekend recuperating.
At the Dermatologist - Part I - THE CALL
The Dermatologist looked at my mole, said he didn't like the colors and numbed me up and cut it right off my shoulder. He said that he would send it out to the lab and that if they found anything, they would call.
The Call:
Strange Voice on Phone: "Hi Ms. G. This is Dr. G's office calling, we have the result of your mole biospy"
Holly: "Okay thanks."
SV: "Well you have skin cancer so call this number, xxx-xxxx and see Dr. Wagner for a wide excission and call us if you have any questions, okay"
CLICK .... dialtone
Holly: "???? Hello???"
---------
Not the best of beginnings! So I promptly called the Dr's office back and said "What kind of skin cancer was it?"
Malignant Melanoma, Clarks Level: IV, Breslow depth: 1.35mm, free margins
The Call:
Strange Voice on Phone: "Hi Ms. G. This is Dr. G's office calling, we have the result of your mole biospy"
Holly: "Okay thanks."
SV: "Well you have skin cancer so call this number, xxx-xxxx and see Dr. Wagner for a wide excission and call us if you have any questions, okay"
CLICK .... dialtone
Holly: "???? Hello???"
---------
Not the best of beginnings! So I promptly called the Dr's office back and said "What kind of skin cancer was it?"
Malignant Melanoma, Clarks Level: IV, Breslow depth: 1.35mm, free margins
In the Beginning
So as promised, here are some of the details up through today, on my experiences being diagnosed with metastic Melanoma.
How did it start?
I came home from a long run one Sunday in late January and hopped into the shower to clean off. As I was cleaning my back, I felt a large bump and naturally thought, "Damn that is a huge pimple!" I often get pimples from being sweaty and having my sports bra rub my skin, so I thought nothing of it. Got out of the shower, proceeded to dry off and looked in the mirror to "see" just how bad it was. Imagine my guenuine surprise to find a mole.
Hmmm...I didn't have that mole before did I?
I am pale, freckle instead of tan and have always had several small flat moles like my mom. She has always told me to "keep an eye on the moles" and go to the Dr. if they changed. Being the "good girl" that I am and having recently hounded my boyfriend Jim to the dermatologist for what turned out to be a basil cell carcinoma, I made an appointment to see my primary Dr who recommended me to a Dermatalogist who could see me in 2 weeks.
How did it start?
I came home from a long run one Sunday in late January and hopped into the shower to clean off. As I was cleaning my back, I felt a large bump and naturally thought, "Damn that is a huge pimple!" I often get pimples from being sweaty and having my sports bra rub my skin, so I thought nothing of it. Got out of the shower, proceeded to dry off and looked in the mirror to "see" just how bad it was. Imagine my guenuine surprise to find a mole.
Hmmm...I didn't have that mole before did I?
I am pale, freckle instead of tan and have always had several small flat moles like my mom. She has always told me to "keep an eye on the moles" and go to the Dr. if they changed. Being the "good girl" that I am and having recently hounded my boyfriend Jim to the dermatologist for what turned out to be a basil cell carcinoma, I made an appointment to see my primary Dr who recommended me to a Dermatalogist who could see me in 2 weeks.
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